Books vs Movies

Some of us love books…some of us love movies…and some of us have time for neither.

But what happens when a book is made into a movie?

Almost never would any one find a movie meeting their expectations if they have read the book version.

You see reading a book requires a lot of patience and concentration and it fuels up our imagination. [Actually this bulk of effort often acts as a deterrent to book reading. Watching a movie does not consume so much energy and people often dump books in favour of movies. ]

Let’s delve into our psyche while reading a book. As we read we visualize the described imagery and the events occurring in the book. So in short when we read a book we subconsciously direct and watch the movie version of it.

After that experience a movie version is bound to seem insipid. We have already watched the movie!!! And that movie had been directed by you, customized to suit your own whims and idiosyncrasies. No matter how much the poor movie director tries to cater to the mindset of his audience it is not possible for him to outdo the little directors sitting inside our heads.

In my life I have found only one movie which was better than the book. The movie was directed by Satyajit Ray and I had read the story after watching the movie.

To this day I don’t know whether it was Ray’s sheer caliber which made the movie a better experience or was it because I had read the story later.

Verdict for today? If you want to enjoy a movie do not read the book and if you have already enjoyed the book then don’t waste your time and money by watching the movie.

Bhagwan darshan

People take a lot of trouble to visit the places of god. Tell people to work out every day and they will turn up their noses but ask them to climb a flight of 1000 stairs to a holy shrine and they would readily huff and pant all the way.

What I do not get is why this tremendous hype is associated with paying a visit to gods’ places. God is definitely not our friend…friendship is possible between two equals and with God we always take a servile demeanour and deep down we harbour the hope to get a big favour done in return of our piety. That’s definitely not the code of conduct between friends.

Now think of our mythology. You will get so many examples where people have observed penance for thousands of years to please a particular god. And when they finally appeared they inevitably asked for immortality. Do you see the hypocrisy? A person who has already survived a thousand years without food and water was already blessed with a pretty long life. Now instead of making good use of it the idiot chose to waste the years in penance…only to ask for the same thing.

Most of us do not understand the rote chanting of the mantras. Mantras mostly consist of praises of the gods and glorification of their attributes interspersed with the odd request of looking after the well being of us, mortals. Basically while worshipping we choose to flatter the gods in a quaint language (Sanskrit) and we expect gods to be pleased with us.

I like the way Durga puja is celebrated. No one is thinking about religion. People have hastily got their yearly makeovers and during the festivities they would eagerly show their new selves off. People would visit the deities more to observe and appreciate the art than with the intention of appeasing the wrath of the gods. The children are happy to get a good break from studies, the young and unmarried are all decked up and busy falling in durga puja-induced-short-term-love, the newly-weds are busy getting themselves clicked incessantly, the much married women are planning pot luck meals while their husbands are excitedly planning about the other kind of pot.

That’s a mature way to deal with a festival. No one is expecting to get favour from God just because they have participated in Durga puja. They did it because they loved it.

Recently an important gentleman who is a strong contender for the upcoming elections criticized the decision to hunt for gold based on a seer’s dream. He was cursed by the seer and had to issue a public apology. Sigh… May be we need a law to restrain people from obsessively performing puja and depending on god...logic is clearly not working…will a prohibitive law work? I don’t know exactly what but something needs to be done to protect this country from blind faith. Do you have any idea??? Please do share...

Transience

I have reached a decision and I would like to announce it to the world.

“It is not possible to be happy.”

Do I hear a pandemonium of protests?? Hear me out before you all pro-happiness people start to counter me.

It is possible to experience brief spells of happiness spread over a period of time (ok...let’s call that a lifetime) but to expect to attain a perpetual state of happiness would be to aim for the unattainable.

Look around…there is not a single person who can claim to be happy all the time.

There are people who would say that a lot depends on your perspective which is true. What makes you happy might not be a trigger for me but that does not mean people who have set easier goals in life are more likely to be happier.

Unlike what wise men (majority of society calls them wise…I think otherwise which is palpable from my snooty and derisive comments) tell us happiness is not need-based. If you tone down out your expectations you do not make yourself closer to happiness…you are just giving in to sloth (a sin according another set of wise men…these people have no consistency) Your acceptance of whatever life has to offer might make you fitter for survival but it does no good in making you happy permanently.

Happiness can be at best likened to orgasms…it is definitely possible to have lots of them in a life time but it would be moronic to expect to experience it 24/7.

If that is not good enough a deal for you try to pay off your karmic debts fast and wait for your next life…may be it would be set in Utopia.

PS: People with opposing views are most welcome to start a debate. I being a “jhogrute opinionated bong” am fond of participating in heated arguments.

I hate Tuesdays

Every Monday I get a mail from the HR department titled “Thank god it’s Monday.”

Now that’s what you call hypocrisy at its best. I usually take revenge on them by promptly deleting the mail…unread. But the magnanimous HR department never seems to mind…they keep sending those every Monday without any signs of waning energy.

But is Monday really the worst day of the week? I think it has gathered too much of negative publicity. After the weekend break I have seen most people attack their work with lots of freshness and renewed energy on Mondays.

Tuesday is the day which is actually the worst day of the week. With the weekend edge worn off Tuesdays just offer us a long week ahead. And unlike Wednesdays they don’t even come with any reassurance. [After Wednesday’s work you can tell yourself that more than half the week is over.]

I know that Tuesdays make me unhappy also because I was born on one. How do I know that I was unhappy?

I was crying.

So were you after you were born.

[ Why do people cry after being born? Let's think of birth as end of death.

There are many ways of looking at this situation.

1. The thought of living made the soul cry. That just means death must feel like bliss which is good news for every one.
2. The soul is still mourning his/her death in the previous birth and is yet to realize the new turn of events. 
3. Weight issues. Most babies are fat and they probably don't like it. ] 

Well let's come back to the topic after quite a bit of digression…I hate Tuesdays.

In fact my hatred for Tuesdays is so much that a little bit of love is bound to creep in.

You see Tuesdays make us long…long hard for the weekend…

Grief helps us to value happiness…

Abstinence makes the sex more intense…
And Tuesdays make my weekends priceless. 

The rising trend of runaway brides and grooms

Random scene: The make up artist is dressing up a bride for her reception party. She is getting intermittent calls. Half of the calls consist of requests from would-be brides for appointments…the other half consist of cancellation of pre booked appointments.  Reason? The wedding has been called off.

These days it has become the trend to call off the wedding at the last moment to run away with “the true love”. Why this epiphany has to strike just before taking the vows I fail to understand.

In the olden days people did not have much say about their own weddings. So running away was often the only way left for the rebellious bravehearts. But nowadays even the “arranged marriages” are fixed solely at the will of the girl and the boy. Now that should guarantee an incident-free wedding. But in reality people are breaking off marriages…even love marriages at the eleventh hour. It has become the latest style statement. They think they are really cool if they display the guts to be the runaway bride/groom.

What gave our society such a heinously warped idea one might wonder…

Rachel ran out at her own wedding in the popular TV show “Friends”

Her defense: She was marrying a rich dentist guy to secure her material comforts, once she realized that she didn’t love him she chose to flee the wedding scene.

Kareena Kapoor’s character dumped her fiancé (twice) in the movie “3 idiots”.

Her defense: She fell for another guy. When this guy vanished into thin air she went back like a wimp to her ex-fiance only to dump him again at the altar.

Abhay Deol’s character decides to call off his wedding at the behest of his two best friends during his flashy bachelor party.

His defense: She was stifling him and he had not really proposed marriage. It did not occur to him that clarifying the confusion at the right moment could have saved a lot of heartburn. 

And the winner: Deepika Padukone’s character leaves her newly married groom to run after ex boyfriend in Love ajkal.

Defense: The love of her life had always been the ex boyfriend. Since he refused to commit she had decided to marry a nicer guy. When she sees a chance of getting her ex boyfriend back she runs away putting the nice guy's life at stake.

And all the while we sitting at the audience took sides with Rachel, Kareena, Abhay, Deepika…because the plot had placed them as the heroes and heroines. We clapped, we cheered, we wiped away copious tears and left for home satisfied. We never thought how unfair the portrayal was until the trend went viral in reality. In real life when the same thing happens we all condemn these people as villains.

I do not see any solution to this. May be someone needs to take charge and glorify the value of promise.

Remember how in your childhood some kids asked you to promise in the name of god to ensure the secrecy of the just imparted information? We promised and did our best to keep our words. What went wrong since then?? Why did we grow up to be such messed up people with little regard to promises??

Why do we so often forget that records are made to be broken…promises are made to be kept??

The (n-1)th step

Can you identify a single goal as the defining purpose of your life?

It’s good news if you have answered the above question in negation.

Human beings have been blessed with too many senses to have just 1 dream in life.

After the seemingly unending monotony of the womb when we take a look at the colourful world our senses are hit with a deluge of emotions…we fail to give the strange feeling a name. It’s a mixture of shock, pleasure, anger, surprise, annoyance and amazement. We cannot simply call it happiness…we can only compare it to being high.

And from that point onwards we get addicted to life and start fearing death. We are driven by the hope to experience that high feeling again and again. We start weaving fantasies and strive to change them into reality.

But the flavours of dreams are complicated. Every dream feels the best at the (n-1)th step.

(n-1)th step gives us the feeling of being high.

nth step gives us the feeling of happiness.

Any sane person given the option to select between the feeling of being happy and the feeling of being high would choose to be high.

The uncertainty of the (n-1)th step accentuates our senses. Happiness is definitely better than sloppiness but it is rungs less than the feeling of being high.

Uncertainty makes way for happiness…happiness makes way for emptiness…

Being high gives us the will to live…being happy gives the power to give up life.

In a way it is good if we have some unfulfilled dreams in life…although we never really admit but they are the ones which keep us alive and ticking.

Criticism

No one likes to be criticized.

Behind every “Constructive criticism is always welcome” there is a silent growl which people fail to hear. It says “Praise is always welcome you idiot…criticism never is.”

There are 3 types of stances that can be assumed by a person against criticism.

I call them the 3 A’s of response to criticism.

Absorb-Attack-Avoid

1. Absorb: In this case the recipient absorbs the criticism and it erodes his/her confidence. The recipient has a very flexible mindset and hence she/he tries to accept all suggestions including the ones that go against her/him.

Social response- The general idea is that this kind of behaviour promotes peace and   harmony. Every one’s opinion is incorporated and hence every one is supposed to be happy. The truth is this kind of attitude promotes self doubt among every one and the whole society becomes weak and crippled.

2. Attack: In this case the recipient counter attacks the criticizer with a venomous response and dissects him/her with such violence that the person is forced to take a step back. 

Social response- The criticizer would issue an apology or at least would refrain from an encore. To slice the brunt of our attack we can always coat our vicious words in a liberal dose of sarcasm.

3. Avoid: In this case the criticism hits our psyche and glides off just as a water drop slips off an oily leaf. This method is adopted by the most secure people on earth. But let’s be truthful here. Deep down we all want validation and approval of other people to varying degrees. That’s why great people like Sheldon Cooper exist only in fiction. But we can do one thing…we can at least pull off an act of being indifferent to criticism…that will also provide the same effect. 

Social response: The criticizer would be left feeling inferior to you once you choose to ignore her/him. Now that their criticism spate has boomeranged the criticizer will leave you alone and choose a new target.

Clarification: This really wasn't an attempt to stop people from giving me negative feedback about my blog. :-)

Two professions

In any profession there is a clearly defined customer-vendor relationship. The customer pays and the vendor is supposed to try their best in satisfying the customer with their product or service.

Have you ever heard of a vendor who accepts the customers’ money, behaves badly with the customer and yet the customer has to feel obliged that he has been given a service?

Well there are indeed two professions followers of which believe that they are exempt from this accepted social decorum.

Doctors and teachers.

Many doctor suffers from a repugnant superiority complex and more often than not talks to you in a condescending tone.

“I don’t have much time…pay attention.”, “Don’t use your brains…I’m the doctor here”, “You better listen to me...you don’t know much.”

I also suspect that they get some sadistic pleasure when strike the good food off the diet charts.

And some teachers are even worse. They not only make the students feel bad but they also feel it is their right to insult the parents.

Every time a teacher asks a parent, “Your ward is faring very poorly…why?” the parent should immediately answer “I’m paying you to take care of that and I should be the one asking “why” ”

The logic by which doctors and teachers justify their rudeness is that they “SAVE” lives.

So non-doctor and non-teacher people are basically ruining lives???

I believe that any person putting in an honest amount of effort to earn his/her money deserves respect. Why do we have to classify professions in a hierarchical manner?

Now tell me how would a doctor/teacher feel if a team of vengeful software engineers decide to set the amount in their bank account to zero?

Yes I agree that there are well mannered doctors and teachers and in past I have used their help and advice and in future too I would need that. This post is against the ones who show a certain amount of high handedness which I find intolerable. I’m just tired of the way our stratified society behaves and expects people to behave like a lesser mortal every time they visit a doctor/teacher.

Flexibility is overhyped

We were all born as wonderful human beings with vibrant traits that could have lit up the world…but there are 2 types of influences ruining the genuineness in us and making us dull and commonplace.

Type 1: Involuntary interference

Throughout our lives we imbibe characteristics of people around us. A day comes when our individual personalities are diluted to the extent that we become a conglomeration of all the people that we have interacted with.

If we recall our earliest memories we can remember how we had inimitable traits which were spoiled by regular interference.

Type 2: Voluntary interference

Throughout our lives people around us often try to manipulate our decisions. Our individuality gets severely mutilated in such cases.

A few common instances:

Childhood: Parents take the liberty to make our decisions.

Teenage: A dominant friend might influence us into ventures we don’t like.

Youth: Manager trashes our career aspirations.

Marriage: New people might impose their decisions.

Social circle: Narcissists might expect compliance to their standards.

The problem is when people politely say that altering a certain trait would make us better they think they are doing us a favour but they  directly imply that we are unacceptable with our existing traits. And no one loves to hear bad things about themselves…it erodes our self esteem very fast.

We need to be firm about the 2^nd type of interference. It is our life and we entitled to our own whims. Complying with other’s whims might earn us the “good boy” / “good girl” tag but the tag comes at the cost of our happiness.

Also there is a graver damage done to the society by our spineless behaviour. We fall into the vicious adapt-imbibe-impose cycle. It is our life and if we do not live it according to our wishes some day we too run the risk of becoming a dominant parent, a roguish boss or an awful in-law.

.

We often confuse free thinking people with selfish people but freedom is a very basic human right and it’s not an optional right.

There is a common trend of asking people “While taking a decision are you a brain person or a heart person?”

Doesn’t matter whether the decision is coming from heart or from brain…as long the decision is coming from YOUR heart or from YOUR brain.

“Unsocial”

A person in our generation often gets this unfortunate label. [...although “unsociable” would have been a more appropriate word…but anyway these days butchery of the English language has become kind of a trend much to my gravest agony.]

“He/she refuses to mingle with people…he/she refuses to show up in social meets…he/she lacks inter-personal skills.”

Our generation hears these complaints very often...At home, at office, while commuting, in nightmares…no respite anywhere.

But did anyone ever check why our generation behaves like this??

In the ancient times people lived cut off from the rest of the world and had access to about 20 people living in the same society. So they could not figure out whether these 20 people were stupid and boring or bright and witty. Simply put they did not have a benchmark. These people were not "social" by choice…they had to socialize with these 20 people as they did not have any other option.

  

Come to present times. We have access to the entire world even across eras. So even if people around you are stupid you can communicate with brilliant minds of other centuries. Yes…time travel is possible. We see movies of other centuries, we listen to songs of other times, we watch scintillating games played years ago, we read books of ancient authors…we are travelling in time all the time!! Now why would a person spend time with a boring person when he/she has access to other kinds of intellectual stimulation?

Remember how Galileo was sent to the gallows for trying to establish a truth about stupid people??? May be “unsocial” people are reincarnated versions of such people with unfortunate deaths in past lives…they have learnt their lessons and in this birth they would let the intellectually handicapped people live peacefully in ignorance.

So before we tag someone “unsocial” we need to check…may be we are too stupid for his/her standards and he/she is too polite to point that out.

Types of love

Some time back I remember writing about crush here and had promised to discuss love. It’s time that we talk a bit about this much hyped and most sought after feeling.

Before we start let me tell you that we are not going to discuss that kind of love where it is essentially the exploitation of a vulnerable mind…the kind we get to see around us all the time. We shall talk about that type of love which gives you the feeling of being born again, which gives you the bliss of living every moment, which gives you serenity in being yourself.

There are 3 common ways of falling for someone.

Type 1:  Remember the times when you were a kid and you wanted to possess every thing that was shiny and colourful? Then you grew up…slowly and steadily this behaviour translated into falling in love with attractive people. Now when you are fascinated by someone’s good looks the immediate reaction in you is a strong desire to own this person and to nurture him/her as your own. 

Love manifests itself in the form of admiration of beauty…a logic defying desire to own beauty.

Type 2: Say you have someone with whom you share every mundane detail of your life. What is the first emotion that you would feel on suddenly reaching great success or great failure? A strong need to share it with someone…and not just anyone…it has to be that person with whom you have shared the smooth and lacklustre pace of life. And you suddenly realize that you have always been in love with this person.

Love manifests itself in the form of dependency…an irreversible bond of dependency.

Type 3: You see someone…you feel irresistibly drawn to the person…suddenly all other emotions fade into oblivion and the physical need supercedes all your basic activities. You try to distract yourself with work and hobbies but it’s futile. You seek relief in sleep but he/she seduces you in your dreams and you wake up with an emptiness followed by a strong longing. Then you throw caution to the wind…meet this person and sleep with him/her…expecting the heat to die out. But no!!! You get addicted to this person and now you feel incomplete, unhappy and often ill if you don’t get regular sessions between the sheets.

Love manifests itself in the form of carnal heat…an irreversible bond of physical desire.

If you have found any one type smile to yourself and to the one you love and say “thank you” to each other.

If you have found a person who churns in you all three types…take a moment to close your eyes and say “thank you” to Destiny.

Tum itna jo ro rahi ho...kya gum hai jisko dikha rahi ho???

I was listening to some romantic songs and was blissfully lost in my dreams about him when a strange advertisement shocked me out of my revelry. A certain company was urging every one to participate in a marathon.

Reason?

Health benefits for us? No!! The reason is to support underprivileged children!

My question is how does our running a marathon help the little kids? It’s good for our health and that’s it. We need to stop making up funny excuses like AIDS walk, UNESCO walk…we are just trying to appease our conscience.

Another stupid mass display of grief is the candle light vigil. Honestly are we showing our support or are we having a pyjama party?

Remember the break up party from Love Ajkal??? That is how the world is today. Any thing…even a tragedy is a cause for celebration!!

And yet…

When a certain IPL team had a particularly exuberant party post their tournament win people kept talking about how inappropriate it was to celebrate their win.

When a new mother gushes about her how brilliant her baby is people mock her and say she’s overreacting about her very ordinary child.

Apparently it’s wrong to celebrate personal happiness and wins but somebody else’s woes can be camouflaged into a big party!!!

Please…if we feel sorry for someone or something we should act on it instead of telling the world how deeply saddened we feel.

On the other hand it’s a basic human right to feel happy…let’s not dissect and decide how much celebration is correct when someone is celebrating his/her personal joy.

Extremism is good...extremism is life...

There’s the million dollar question --- if given the chance to choose between intellect and beauty what would you choose???

Then there’s the done-to-death potshot. Based on your answer you’ll be told that it’s because you’ve a shortage of beauty/brains.

But really what would you choose if you had the opportunity to choose between infinite wisdom and breath taking beauty? [Now those of you are answering that “I already have both” should come and participate in the “Reincarnation of Narcissus” contest which I’m planning to arrange.]

But what do the rest of you think?

Case 1: You chose sharp brains

With that amount of intellect in this more or less stupid world you can be assured that you would be the undisputed ruler. And of course you can fool the idiots around you into thinking that you are the prettiest of them all.

End result: You get both.

Case 2: You chose magnificent beauty

With that amount of beauty any one would lose their sense of reasoning when you are around. So you would be the unchallenged ruler. And since your looks have significantly dimmed the wits of your fellow earthlings you would be the most intelligent person too.

End result: You get both.

Do you see the power of extremism?

I believe that we should regularly come out of the middle path and indulge in the all or nothing philosophy. Be it in case of the small things in life like win/loss in a petty board game or the big things in life like love…indulging in extremism gives us supreme satisfaction. Absoluteness has a divine beauty…experience it now. You can always think about being moderate in old age…till then let’s revel in the spirit of youth…let’s be impatient and aim for it all.