When loss is gain and gain is loss…

Once upon a time due to certain turn of events I had ended up in a certain city which shall remain unnamed in this post. More than the city itself due to certain other inexplicable factors I had sunk into depression and had enveloped myself in a wave of negativity that spread out like menacing tentacles trying to entangle whoever had tried to come in close proximity to me…

Repercussions? Too many…way too many…

For today I shall take up just one.

I had started overeating.

I am very specific about food. ( used to be would be more apt…now you can take out the “very”) My food spectrum includes a chosen few dishes and if I don’t get them I would rather starve to death. Well...easy to say…not really a viable proposition.

So when I did not find the food of a certain place palatable I started filling up on cheese rolls, chocolate, chips and cookies…for a month. After a point of time your body starts craving well-cooked meals…and if you are on the verge of losing sanity such pangs do not help much.

It’s a vicious cycle…you eat…you still don’t feel satiated…you eat more trashy food…you feel sadder…it goes on.

Result? I gained 8 Kg.

Ah…stop imagining me as a blob of flab. I used to be severely underweight and had a 10 Kg buffer. So after this significant weight gain when I returned home…every body seemed extremely happy about it…except me.

I was extremely sad to lose the size zero me…and I no longer had 10Kg buffer which meant I could not binge as and when I wanted to. Every well meant comment of “It’s good that you have gained some weight” meant 2 hours of sitting by the window wondering how could I have let it happen. It took me some time (several months actually) to accept the new weight…I still have a old weight ticket tucked away somewhere in the memory of those size zero days.

Why am I talking about something that happened a year ago?

Because I have been pushed out of my comfort zone again…far from there...

Anyway…this time with no weight buffer to cushion the "depression weight" I have made a new decision…to not be depressed.

Easy decision…easier to stick to…easiest on my health (mental and otherwise).

PS: Are you by any chance wondering what my present weight is? It’s 48Kg.