Proverbial bloopers

1. Live like there is no tomorrow!

Why? …Why? Why? Why would I live like there is no tomorrow when I am pretty sure that there will be a tomorrow? To believe that today is the last day of life is a terrible way of thinking and it is not a good idea to fall for it. Living with zeal and living with prudence are not mutually exclusive.

Amendment: Live every day of your life.

2. When in Rome do as the Romans do

Good lord! Then how would the Romans know about us?

And could any one please tell me why are there so many proverbs revolving around Rome? Admitted that men from Rome are full of poetic grace, admitted that they have some irresistible charm in their eyes, admitted that their exotic features are sculpted to perfection…oh…never mind…just got the answer.

Amendment: When in Rome teach the Romans your way of doing things and learn from them their way.

[I actually have a better amendment but that is not presentable in this blog and I shall share it with my Friends. Romans and Countrymen will have to remain content with the bland version.]

3. No use crying over spilt milk

Really? On the contrary if you do not spend some time crying over spilling the milk and rush out to buy another bottle there is a very good chance of spilling the new bottle too! It is very much necessary to cry over spilt milk before you mop it up.

Amendment: Firstly…do not spill! Secondly, if you have…do NOT be remorseless.

4. A rolling stone gathers no moss

And why exactly is that bad??? I thought a shiny and polished stone is any day better than a warty and moss-covered rock! Some rusty brained wordsmith must have concocted this one up…

Amendment: A stone that is gathering moss should definitely start to roll.

5. The grass is greener on the other side of the court

Since when? The grass has always seemed greener on my side of the court.

Don’t agree? Ok…is there any one in the whole who you would rather be than being yourself? In case you have found yourself answering "yes" to the previous question…think of that one thing/person/quality that you cannot give up…long list eh? That person does not have all those things/people/qualities!

Amendment: The grass is fine on our side of the court…let us leave it alone and add more plants and flowers.

6. The darkest hour is nearest to dawn

When you are going through a dark hour there is no way to tell whether it is the darkest hour or if it would get even darker. So instead of counting on baseless assumptions get real.

Amendment: If the hours are getting dark invest in some chandeliers.

7. If you play with fire sooner or later you are gonna get burnt

So what am I supposed to do? Watch from a distance and wonder what it is like to play with fire? Or listen with wide eyed amazement to the stories of someone who had the guts to tryst with fire?

Amendment: Someone who has played with fire would know…that if playing with fire is fun…getting burnt is bliss…

Grave notes? Hmmm…that has never done any good to any body...ever! So let us end today’s discussion with a figment of my absurd interpretation…

8. One man’s meat is another man’s poison

When I first came across this one I had felt very good. Indeed…as one human being we should never feast on another fellow human being’s flesh. We should avoid it like poison. My sister had given me a disgusted look and uttered the word “Cannibal” when I had told her this and after a while had explained the accepted meaning to me.

Decades have passed and I still wonder why my way is not accepted.

Amendment: None to offer…I just wish more people would consider my way of looking at the proverb.