Chronic problems

We are all people affected with severe mental problems.

We like each other when the sets of our afflictions are intersecting.

We call each other names (rarely aloud) and head separate ways when the sets are disjoint.

Let us look into some today...I will follow the ladies first rule.

(Why do I support ladies first policy? Topic for some other day...till then do not offer the shallow reason of "because you are one.")

List for women:

The mirror-mirror-on-the-wall syndrome:

Put 5 pretty girls in a room...give them a thousand interesting activities to do. While they are on the apparently interesting jobs they are actually quantifying the beauty of each other...feature by feature...attribute by attribute...in so detailed an analysis that would put the analytical powers of Barney Stinson to shame.

All pretty girls suffer from this.

The Rapunzel syndrome:

A haircut can never be perfect. No matter how many compliments (and covert stares and some blatant stares) she gets... when she hits the bed at night she is bound to shed a few drops of tears in the memory of the lost length.

Most girls suffer from this.

[Rapunzel's prince climbed up her hair to reach her instead of asking her to jump to the safe refuge of his arms... which brings us to the very disturbing conclusion that either Rapunzel was fat or the prince was underweight or both. ]

The Beauty-and-the-beast-remains-beast syndrome:

“Don’t die beast...I love you” And the beast turns into a charming prince in the arms of blushing Beauty and they live happily ever after. But wait...what if the beast did not transform? Beauty did not know that he was a cursed prince when she implored him to live and professed her love for him. Of course Beauty did want the beast to live...no doubt in that part. So what would she have done if the beast continued to look like a beast? Very simple damage control strategy to be adopted. She would have added 3 more words after “I love you”....which are “as a brother”.

All girls suffer from this.

List for men:

The Superman syndrome:

Obsession with speed. Slow and steady could give a hollow win but fast and reckless would make the journey more interesting and only a win that way would be a satiating.

Men high on adrenaline suffer from this.

I’m-Atlas-when-I-play-syndrome:

Men are ready to shoulder unthinkable responsibilities when it comes to sports! Whenever they play they change to Lionel Messi or Kaka or Tendulkar or Federer or Nadal...you get it...the match winner. Funnily no man ever thinks himself to be an Italian defender while playing which is understandable because men love to go after what is yet to be conquered rather than protecting what already belongs to them!

Most men suffer from this.

The Eve-came-from-Adam’s-rib syndrome:

Men can’t stand losing to a woman. Yes if the man is insanely in love with a woman then he might but that is an “I let her win” kind of situation so it doesn’t count. What if a woman wins fair and square? It is ok only if the win comes in something that is considered a woman’s job...like...(no I’m not going to give any example...if a feminist stumbles here I would be dead.)

All men suffer from this.

The world is an asylum...life is the course of rehabilitation...we seldom give up old syndromes...but pick up new ones with overwhelming alacrity...may be falling ill is better than both prevention and cure.

PS: Ever wondered why there is there no word called masculinist?

Ponder ponder...