Types of love

Some time back I remember writing about crush here and had promised to discuss love. It’s time that we talk a bit about this much hyped and most sought after feeling.

Before we start let me tell you that we are not going to discuss that kind of love where it is essentially the exploitation of a vulnerable mind…the kind we get to see around us all the time. We shall talk about that type of love which gives you the feeling of being born again, which gives you the bliss of living every moment, which gives you serenity in being yourself.

There are 3 common ways of falling for someone.

Type 1:  Remember the times when you were a kid and you wanted to possess every thing that was shiny and colourful? Then you grew up…slowly and steadily this behaviour translated into falling in love with attractive people. Now when you are fascinated by someone’s good looks the immediate reaction in you is a strong desire to own this person and to nurture him/her as your own. 

Love manifests itself in the form of admiration of beauty…a logic defying desire to own beauty.

Type 2: Say you have someone with whom you share every mundane detail of your life. What is the first emotion that you would feel on suddenly reaching great success or great failure? A strong need to share it with someone…and not just anyone…it has to be that person with whom you have shared the smooth and lacklustre pace of life. And you suddenly realize that you have always been in love with this person.

Love manifests itself in the form of dependency…an irreversible bond of dependency.

Type 3: You see someone…you feel irresistibly drawn to the person…suddenly all other emotions fade into oblivion and the physical need supercedes all your basic activities. You try to distract yourself with work and hobbies but it’s futile. You seek relief in sleep but he/she seduces you in your dreams and you wake up with an emptiness followed by a strong longing. Then you throw caution to the wind…meet this person and sleep with him/her…expecting the heat to die out. But no!!! You get addicted to this person and now you feel incomplete, unhappy and often ill if you don’t get regular sessions between the sheets.

Love manifests itself in the form of carnal heat…an irreversible bond of physical desire.

If you have found any one type smile to yourself and to the one you love and say “thank you” to each other.

If you have found a person who churns in you all three types…take a moment to close your eyes and say “thank you” to Destiny.

Tum itna jo ro rahi ho...kya gum hai jisko dikha rahi ho???

I was listening to some romantic songs and was blissfully lost in my dreams about him when a strange advertisement shocked me out of my revelry. A certain company was urging every one to participate in a marathon.

Reason?

Health benefits for us? No!! The reason is to support underprivileged children!

My question is how does our running a marathon help the little kids? It’s good for our health and that’s it. We need to stop making up funny excuses like AIDS walk, UNESCO walk…we are just trying to appease our conscience.

Another stupid mass display of grief is the candle light vigil. Honestly are we showing our support or are we having a pyjama party?

Remember the break up party from Love Ajkal??? That is how the world is today. Any thing…even a tragedy is a cause for celebration!!

And yet…

When a certain IPL team had a particularly exuberant party post their tournament win people kept talking about how inappropriate it was to celebrate their win.

When a new mother gushes about her how brilliant her baby is people mock her and say she’s overreacting about her very ordinary child.

Apparently it’s wrong to celebrate personal happiness and wins but somebody else’s woes can be camouflaged into a big party!!!

Please…if we feel sorry for someone or something we should act on it instead of telling the world how deeply saddened we feel.

On the other hand it’s a basic human right to feel happy…let’s not dissect and decide how much celebration is correct when someone is celebrating his/her personal joy.

Extremism is good...extremism is life...

There’s the million dollar question --- if given the chance to choose between intellect and beauty what would you choose???

Then there’s the done-to-death potshot. Based on your answer you’ll be told that it’s because you’ve a shortage of beauty/brains.

But really what would you choose if you had the opportunity to choose between infinite wisdom and breath taking beauty? [Now those of you are answering that “I already have both” should come and participate in the “Reincarnation of Narcissus” contest which I’m planning to arrange.]

But what do the rest of you think?

Case 1: You chose sharp brains

With that amount of intellect in this more or less stupid world you can be assured that you would be the undisputed ruler. And of course you can fool the idiots around you into thinking that you are the prettiest of them all.

End result: You get both.

Case 2: You chose magnificent beauty

With that amount of beauty any one would lose their sense of reasoning when you are around. So you would be the unchallenged ruler. And since your looks have significantly dimmed the wits of your fellow earthlings you would be the most intelligent person too.

End result: You get both.

Do you see the power of extremism?

I believe that we should regularly come out of the middle path and indulge in the all or nothing philosophy. Be it in case of the small things in life like win/loss in a petty board game or the big things in life like love…indulging in extremism gives us supreme satisfaction. Absoluteness has a divine beauty…experience it now. You can always think about being moderate in old age…till then let’s revel in the spirit of youth…let’s be impatient and aim for it all.

Intoxication

Fill my days...fill my nights...

Fill my senses...fill my life…

Waves of intoxication overwhelm me.

A surreal rush of bliss sets me free.

In the grip of rapture I squirm and reel,

Tell me what is it that I now feel?

Feel my days...feel my nights...

Feel my senses...feel my life…

Antiques are priceless!!!

Indians have always been passionate about cricket and films. Any cricketer or actor of iconic status has to go through the following unjustified upheavals in their career.

Phase 1: Swimming against the tide

During the initial days when the legend is just a common person trying their best to make a mark society would try its best to put in all sorts of obstacles in their path. Every day society breaks their heart trying to prove to how incompetent they are and how impossible their dream is.

This is the phase when the person is most vulnerable and needs maximum support...this is the phase when they receive maximum criticism.

Phase 2: Race winning phase

The legend has started to win. Society begins to acknowledge the achievements. Suddenly every one takes a vocal U-turn and showers praises on the new star.

Now that the person has risen to stardom society wants behave like a soothsayer who always knew that this person is special.

Phase 3: Swan song phase

The legend is getting rusty...slowly but surely. Now is the time when society would show fanaticism for the legend. Now is the time when they would worship the veteran and beg them not to leave the arena. Now is the time when they would use his example to crush the confidence of the youngsters who are struggling in phase 1.

It’s futile because the legend has already earned his status and is above the immature pettiness shown by society.

In Bollywood when the Khan trio made their entry despite several hits society branded them “lollypop heroes” and was hung up on a visibly aging and tired Bachchan. Now that the Khans are aging they have risen above criticism, any movie they act in can garner an unrealistic amount of expectation and is guaranteed to be a big hit long before its release.

Similar criticize-accept-idolize cycle has been applied to cricketers like Sourav Ganguly, Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar.

This pattern is observed not only in larger-than-life scenarios...there is very basic emotion that triggers such reaction. Love.

In love too people often show tendencies of going through the denial-acceptance-clinging cycle.

Why do we Indians suffer from this masochistic tendency of valuing something only after it’s gone??? Why not appreciate a flower in its full bloom instead of shedding tears before its picture once it has withered away?

May be it’s true...that tragedy appeals more to us than comedy...

The line between I can and I wish...

“I can” --- The statement effuses pride and confidence.

There are a lot of things that we can do with perfection and we can claim with a certain level of arrogance that “Yes I can do it...several times better than you.” Some people spell these words out and get labelled as egoistic and boastful...some others are clever enough to keep such inflated ego-stroking to a minimum.

A successful man is he who has chosen his career path in lines of the things he can do effortlessly and perfectly.

“I wish” --- The statement effuses insecurities and self-doubts.

There are a lot of things that we want to excel at but either we lack the courage to complete those tasks or the fear of failure acts as an insurmountable barrier.

A happy man is he who has chosen his personal life in lines of the things he wishes to do.

There’re a thousand things that we can do baby and a thousand more things that we wish to do...

Let’s get together to do the things we can and may be the things we wish will come true too...

Violent threats of Bengali mothers

If you are a Bengali or at least if your mom is Bengali you would know what I am talking about. Disciplining the kids is a routine that every mother has to perform all across the world and despite their wish to refrain from reprimanding the child they need to do it once in a while. But Bengali mothers take this disciplining-the-kid business to a whole new level.

Some common threats (all collected from real experiences)

1. Aj tor pa/haat bhenge debo

 Translates to “Today I will break your legs/hands.”

2. Mere rokto ber kore debo

 Translates to “I’ll punch you till you bleed.”

3. Ei lathi-ta tor pithe bhangbo

 Translates to “I’ll break this rod on your back.”

4. Tule achhar marbo

 Translates to “I’ll pick you up and smash you down to the ground.”

5. Chabke chhal chhariye debo

 Translates to “I’ll whip you and skin you.”

6. Matha phatiye debo

 Translates to “I’ll break your head”

7. Kaan tene chhire debo

 Translates to “I’ll box your ears and rip them off.”

All the threats are replete with promises of gory violence. It’s not that the kids are born with tendencies of destruction in this part of the world…nor are the mothers particularly cruel is this part of the world…but the mothers just love to use sanguine threats to scare the errant child.

I often interrupted my mommy while she was fervently hurling threats at me with requests for clarification. She often used the fourth threat on the list and I responded with “Smash me down? From what height?” or “But you never really pick me up…I think I’d like that.” Her reactions ranged from instant nullification of anger to instant conversion of anger to blind rage.

Mothers never can implement such threats on their kids…they know it, the indulgent fathers know it, even the kids know it. Then why do they dish out threats they don’t intend to carry out?

Actually in a subtle and sure way a lesson has been handed down for generations…limit the animal in you to the realm of anticipation and imagination and express only the delicate nurturer in you to the real world.