Behind the Mask

Minnie had met Soham online in one of the many communities which they had both randomly subscribed to. Soham’s display picture was half a face but that was good enough to get Minnie’s attention. Minnie at that time was quite a young girl in her late teens. It is that age when a girl wishes to claim herself as a woman. It is only after one more decade that she desperately tries to revert back to girlhood.

There were many boys in the same community who hankered for Minnie’s attention but she knew that if Soham did not show any effort to impress her soon she was leaving the community. Such steps did not have to be taken. Soon a debate started regarding which IPL team was going to win the current season. And Soham simply had to notice Minnie from the way she dominated the thread. It is not that girls do not watch sports. They do. But Minnie’s comments were not just passionate blabbering…she argued with logic and statistics. Soham was deeply impressed with her cricketing knowledge; clueless that they were aimed to impress him only. Moreover her profile picture was confusing; Soham could not decide if she was being coy or seductive. And he had to find that out.

Soon they started to join the same threads of discussion. It was obvious that they were just using the pretext to interact with each other. After a respectable period of time when Soham felt that he would not longer be marked as a “despo” if he sent Minnie a friend request, he did so.

“What took you so long!!!” Minnie heaved a sigh of relief as she accepted the request. The first 15 minutes were completely quiet. Both of them were poring over each other’s albums and bio data to satiate their curiosity.

Both were satisfied with what they saw. Minnie looked effortlessly pretty and the absence of pouty selfies in her album made Soham like her even more.

Minnie on the other hand was glad to verify his pictures from all angles and decide that he was indeed the classically handsome person she had chosen at first glance.

Their presence at the communities diminished as they now spent every precious moment absorbed in personal late night chats. The scent of love can turn a teenager’s world upside down and consequently Minnie’s studies, friends and favourite IPL started to feel her neglect.

Her friends kind of figured it out from some very open exchanges in her online profile that Minnie had fallen for this insanely handsome Soham. When they confronted her she only gave a deep blush and a very Mona Lisa smile as a response. They teased her more about Soham and Minnie never let her friends realize that those minutes of getting wordily linked with Soham felt quite heavenly to her.

Minnie came from a conservative family where she was considered to be under the permissible age for dating. But the rules were vague about online dating. So Minnie happily continued her reverie with Soham. Minnie’s elder brother had left home for a job a few months back and this made it much easier to use the internet connection as per her need without having to bother about any prying eyes.

The connection that she felt with Soham felt very real despite the virtual nature of their conversations. All the little rebellious thoughts that her family had taught her to suppress now found validation in Soham. And he seemed to be a piece of her own non-conformist soul.

Their online relationship went on for several months and Minnie started to feel that they should now upgrade and meet in person. Though they had shared tons of pictures yet they had never even had a video chat through the internet. She decided to consult her best friend Renuka regarding the idea before talking to Soham about it.

Instead Renuka came up to Minnie the next day and said she had something urgent to tell Minnie about Soham.

“Can you read my mind?” Minnie laughed happily.

Renuka looked serious.

“Come with me. I’ll tell you at home,” Renuka said as she dragged Minnie by her hands.

“Tell me what? Give me a clue…” Minnie pressed on but Renuka kept silent till they reached her home.

Renuka entered her room and started her laptop. Soon she logged on to a matrimonial site and clicked a profile id. Soham’s face showed up.

Minnie was too shocked to comment.

“Your boyfriend is not a good person,” Renuka made a short and firm statement.

“But…but he is Soham…this guy’s name is Debarun….so…”

“They are not lookalikes Minnie. These are the exact same pictures that you have shown me. It’s same person. Plus that is not the whole thing.”

Minnie was not sure about what could be “the whole thing”.

Renuka kept on typing and opened a few more profiles with the same set of pictures. The names were all different. The pictures belonged to an unidentified person who probably was unaware of the way his pictures were being misused.

Minnie felt faint when she realized how she had been duped by a nameless, faceless stranger.

“This should be reported to the police.” Renuka sounded determined as she held Minnie’s hands.

“No…my parents will be so ashamed of me,” Minnie protested immediately.

“I will go with you and help you through the ordeal,” Renuka promised.

Minnie thought of the intimate nature of the chat sessions that she had had with Soham and protested again.

“Please Renuka…I feel dizzy…please do not talk about police.”

So it was decided after 1 hour of crying and consolations that Minnie will delete her online account. She will not have online presence for a few months and then she will join back with a new account. They will call it a social network detox and no one will guess a thing.

Turned out that no one at Minnie’s home could really guess the incident. The spike in Minnie’s interest in studies was really well received by her parents. But when she was alone at night she felt spooked and vulnerable. For the first time she missed the presence of her strict brother. This would have never happened under his watchful eyes and suddenly she cried a bit thinking how disappointed her brother would be if he knew that his little sister had grown up to be this stupid.

Minnie lived in fear for several weeks worrying about the ways in which Soham might retaliate. Renuka and all the other girls who knew about Soham had blocked him already. Now they waited in fear for the backlash. But it never happened. Weeks rolled into months but no one got to hear anything from Soham.

“He must have found a new target,” Minnie decided as she heaved out a sigh.

As time passed on Minnie went to college from school and then she joined work at the same company where her brother had gotten his first break. She had finally been able to make her family proud of her. The sorry little incident from a long time ago was quickly forgotten.

Minnie went on to fall in love with a wonderful guy. It was a smooth and meaningful relationship and everyone expected them to end up married one day. But things do not always happen as per expectations. Minnie went on to break up with the guy suddenly after a happy 5.5 years of togetherness.

After her break-up Minnie went back to her favourite books to seek refuge. It was just another day in the mall near her home. She was enjoying the pleasant combination of coffee and Jeffrey Archer when something very strange happened.

She had read an exceptionally witty twist in the plot and looked at a distance absently to munch on the thought for a while. Suddenly she realized that her eyes were resting at a very familiar face, the face of Soham. She zapped out of her Archer induced day dream and felt very self conscious.

The next 5 seconds were the most confusing 5 seconds of Minnie’s life. She felt sheer horror for the first 2.5 seconds to spot her perpetrator and then in the next 2.5 seconds it completely dissolved to nonchalance realizing that her online boyfriend was someone else who just happened to use this guy’s pictures.

The real owner of the face was sitting with a couple of friends and seemed to be deeply absorbed in cheerful banter.

Minnie stared at his square cut jaws, his perfect nose and his sleep deprived eyes and smiled to herself. She understood why she had been so naïve 10 years ago…even today she felt tremors within herself just by looking at him. Since this guy seemed to be busy Minnie decided to treat her eyes for some more time. After all this is the face that she had fallen in love with many years ago.

Unpredictably the guy suddenly looked towards Minnie and saw her staring at him with her head slightly tilted and held up by folded hands; her half smile and wide eyes giving an oddly smitten expression. Minnie immediately looked away but he had seen enough. He got up and started to walk towards her.

Minnie blushed to the deepest shades of red and started to scan her mental database of excuses but in vain.

 “Minnie!!! Aren’t you Minnie?” Surprisingly the guy addressed her by her correct name.

“Yes…but how…how…how did you know my name?” Minnie fumbled out with much effort.

“Oh come on…I am Soham. Don’t tell me you didn’t recognize me. I have aged a bit unlike you but it is still possible to make it out.”

The guy casually dragged a chair and sat beside her. He turned around to look at his friends and signaled them to carry on without him. They looked back with raised eyebrows and after taking a long look at Minnie decided to allow them the requested privacy.

“So…didn’t expect to see you in person ever,” said the guy before Minnie could say anything.

Minnie was now in a trance. Had she been more confident about her running skills she would have ran out of this situation but the athletic build of Soham made her feel that it was not possible to outrun him.

“So you are Soham?”

“Yes. Come on Minnie. You couldn’t have forgotten everything.

Do you know how bad it felt when you suddenly deleted your account? I felt depressed for months. 

Your friends too could not be contacted. Then as time passed my pain healed. I had made up my own explanation.”

“What explanation did you make up?” Minnie started to regain normalcy.

“I don’t want to say,” Soham said.

“Please tell me. It happened a long time ago. Let out the harshness…I won’t mind.” Minnie pressed on.

“No, you have to tell me what really happened. Why did you suddenly leave? And why were you checking me out so eerily after 9-10 long years!!!”

“Are you really Soham?” Minnie asked again.

At this point Soham took out an identity card and showed his name.

“Hmmm…well you do not know this probably…but around the same time when you and I were…were…”

“You and I were virtual-dating…now proceed.” Soham smiled.

Minnie returned the smile and felt a bit confident.

“I saw many profiles in a matrimonial site with your pictures. I assumed you to be a fraud. I had no idea that I had been talking to the real Soham and that the rest were fake.”

Minnie paused a bit and then added, “Or did you create the profiles for yourself?”

Soham laughed out aloud.

“I was 20 back then…I was not thinking of marriage Minnie. And honestly I just got to know that my pictures had been misused to this degree. I did catch a few fake profiles in Facebook which were using my pictures and I got them blocked subsequently. Being a guy I never gave it much thought. A guy is not prone to much risk…they say. Turns out they are very wrong! ”

“I am sorry Soham. I felt very nervous when I saw the other profiles. I just was trying to protect myself and my reputation.”

There was silence for sometime.

“What about you? What did you think happened to me?” Minnie asked.

“I was crushed when you left without any reason.” Soham was brief.

“Yes…but what did you believe the cause to be? That I was a cheap flirt with other motives?”

“No…your innocent face didn’t suit that angle…at least it didn’t occur to me. I though you must have died…Sorry. It seemed to be the only explanation that didn’t make me revolt at the thought of falling for you.”

“You killed me?” Minnie was clearly offended.

“I know it’s kind of extreme but I wished to preserve that perfect memory of you.”

Again they paused for a long while; each looking at different directions allowing the huge volume of information to sink in.

“So…” Both started at the same time.

It was obvious that they still felt attracted to each other.

“Here is my number. I will leave the decision making bit to you. If you ask me I’d say we should catch up from where we had left it off…if you’re single that is. I am.” Soham wrote his number in a piece of paper and handed it over to Minnie.

Minnie calmly put it inside her bag but not before memorising the number. This time she had no intention to end things abruptly with Soham.

That day none of them could sleep well. Soham was unhappy that he had not shaved and that his hair was unruly when Minnie saw him in person. He was sour about the first impression that he had created on her.  Minnie too was worried that her appearance might not be good enough for Soham. 

She was almost without make up and was dressed in over sized comfortable clothes. After all it was supposed to be a date with Jeffrey Archer and she was not planning to impress him.

If they both knew how insecure they had made the other one, they would have felt a lot more secure about their own appearances.

Anyway Minnie did call him and soon they started meeting often. It turned out that they worked close to each other though their actual residences were far apart. They met sometimes over lunch, sometimes over coffee and sometimes on holidays defying the long commute separating them.

Among the things that they resumed from the past was the game of rhyming lines. Minnie started a line and Soham had to come up with an answer in a rhyming line. It was juvenile and in its simplicity lay the foundation of their bond. A genuine bond of merriment and laughter without much expectations.

“Do you know Soham how many people I have tried to play this game with? How much I wished to recreate the spontaneous fun that I had with you? But each time I failed to recreate the magic.”

Soham smiled as he stared at Minnie. Her layered hair framed her pretty face well and looking at her he could solve the puzzle that had kept him awake many a nights. She was certainly not a coy girl…the smoldering feminine grace in Minnie made Soham feel high in her company…no alcohol was needed.

“I used to stalk your profile and read everything on your page written by other boys. I was unbelievably possessive about you.” Soham confessed.

“Really? Then I must tell you about my past before it gets too complicated. I had a relationship in between. We were quite serious and even were expecting to get married. I hope it wouldn’t trigger any jealousy in you.” Minnie decided to divulge everything.

“Oh no…don’t get me wrong. I understand that…I’m saying that I was possessive back then. I am not expecting you to have saved yourself for me! Past is over…I am interested in the future. Even I am not a virgin.” Soham attempted to make Minnie feel relaxed.

“What? You are not?” Minnie seemed to be stunned.

“No…come on. I’m not bothered about what happened in these 10 years. Let’s plan for the coming days…”

“I said I was in a serious relationship but I have not been physically intimate with him. Are you really telling me you have experienced it?” Minnie was still in shock.

“Well…I was in a brief relationship. It lasted for a few months but yes we got physical and I cannot deny that. How does it matter Minnie? Why harp on what has happened in the past?”

“It matters a lot! I have not experienced it because physical intimacy creates huge mental baggage and I didn’t want to trudge it along all my life.”

“But you did love him…how much time have you two been together?”

“5.5 years.”

“Whoa! I think that creates more attachment than a brief spell of 6-7 months. We have to let go of the past…”

“I can but you cannot.” Minnie was still sulking.

“Why are you deciding things for me? This is not a competition Minnie. I don’t have any attachment with my ex. We are not even in touch. Are you?”

“Who’s competing now? ” Minnie looked a bit crazy now.

“Don’t get worked up. I’m just trying to make you see sense.”

“I’m not in touch with him either.”

The mood had changed completely. After a few more lame attempts to ease out the tension Soham decided that it would be better if they both left for home and took some time to ponder over the situation. Perhaps time would drill some sense into his stubborn girl Minnie.

But it did not. Minnie and Soham tried to talk and feel the same happiness that they had always associated with their conversations but it was not the same any more. The connection was broken and it bothered both of them.

“Minnie…what do you think about the situation?” Soham asked at last.

“I have thought about it several times but I can’t really get past my mental block. I’d feel unreasonably jealous of the girl who got you first and things won’t be fair perhaps…”

“You are breaking up with me?” Soham was shocked.

“I have always envisaged us as something beyond the real world of flaws. Earlier also things felt perfect till we suddenly went different ways. And now also things seemed to be too good until we hit this sudden block. Perhaps ours is a relationship that is not meant to be? Perhaps you would be my one precious memory whom I’ll always recount in future whenever I have a fight with my actual husband?” Minnie tried to offer her viewpoint.

“Oh…so you have mentally moved on to a future husband also?” Soham had decided to be calm today but it was no longer possible.

“Clearly there is no point in me trying to mend this situation…after all I can’t mend myself and become a virgin for you. Goodbye Minnie. Be happy.” Soham stormed out without listening to the feeble pleas of Minnie.

Minnie sat back in despair as she evaluated the incident. She swayed between calling Soham to apologize and moving on from that point. Eventually she decided to not call him. She had spoken the truth and nothing can alter it now. Had she called Soham she would have realized that he had blocked her already.

They went along separate paths in life and did not run into each other for a long time. Deep down Minnie was hoping for an encounter after 10 more years. Being a lover of fiction it had become her habit to expect drama from her real life as well. Nevertheless fate brought them face to face after 2.5 years only.

Soham was strolling casually at a mall when he spotted her...actually them. Minnie walked into the same place with a guy who seemed to be either her husband or her fiancé. The guy was less than average in looks. Soham assumed that he must be intelligent because he clearly needed something to compensate for his appearance. Soham quickly left the store through the other entrance.

But after an hour at the mall it happened that Minnie bumped into Soham in the lift. She was alone. For a second time seemed to have stopped. Then Minnie smiled, that warm smile which speaks of genuine happiness. Soham had decided to be firm with her but he could feel his lips curling themselves into the biggest possible smile…betraying him completely.

“How are you Soham?” Minnie sounded joyful.

“I’m good and I see that you too are doing great!” Soham replied.

“How do you know? Don’t assume…I’m not doing that great.” Minnie was a tad nervous, she was talking too fast today.

“I missed you Soham; may be we should stay in touch…just as friends.”

“No. We shouldn’t. I wish you well and I think we should keep it to that only.” Soham grew firm finally and started to walk away.

Minnie felt awkward as she stared after him.

“I hope you know that he is a virgin because he isn’t hot enough to get a girl.” Soham stopped suddenly, turned around and made a remark.

 “Who?”

“Your husband…fiance…whatever. I saw you with him earlier today. I’m sorry about my comment…I’ll leave now.” Soham’s face was red but it was impossible to figure out if it was from fury or embarrassment.

“He is nothing to me…yet. We have been set up by our parents and hence we are trying to interact and see if it goes anywhere.” Minnie clarified the situation. “And why do you care so much? Are you not in a relationship yet?”

Minnie’s words came out all wrong. She was actually betting her hopes on Soham being still available but it sounded more like sarcasm when she spoke.

“Oh yes…you see there are no takers for used men these days.” Soham could not stop himself from being bitter.

“I’m sorry for everything Soham…but I have missed you terribly. Can we just be friends again? Please?” Minnie begged desperately.

Soham took out his phone and unblocked Minnie’s number in front of her.

“My phone number is still the same,” he said as he left.

Now Minnie was in a position that left her more messed up than ever. She was getting along well in her life and was trying to settle down in marriage. In the story of her life she had already allocated for Soham the role of the one that got away and the one who would haunt her sometimes in her married future. The role of her husband had not been yet given to anyone in particular but Minnie had already toned down her expectations to match any mild mannered average guy who can be controlled easily.

But today the chance meeting sent the perfect plot of her life awry. She now wished to have Soham and not just for one day…for life. It was supposed to happen after her yet-to-happen marriage went limpid in future but fate refused to let Minnie write her own story. After spending a jittery 24 hours Minnie called Soham and asked him out.

“I really had no wish to see you Minnie. I just came because I didn’t want to be rude.” Soham made his stance clear when they met.

“Please don’t sound so cold. IPL season is starting again. Can’t we just forget everything for a while and revisit our initial days of innocence together?”

“What do you mean?”

“I have purchased tickets for this Sunday’s match. Let’s visit the stadium once today. I know a friend who works there and we will be allowed to go on field.”

Minnie was talking fast again. She was not even waiting for Soham’s answers. As she booked the cab to the stadium Soham felt that he was wasting his time.

“A woman who never can look beyond her myopic demands,” he sadly thought as he saw Minnie happily collect herself into the cab.

Once they entered the cricket stadium the situation was different. Soham too felt the high adrenaline of the place where their favourite team had won the tournament in the previous season.

Soon they both got busy in cricketing talks and it seemed like they had never been apart since their online dates.

Soham was looking up at the sky and already wondering if Sunday would be a bright day too when Minnie went down on her knees.

“Will you be mine?” she sweetly extended a red rose towards Soham.

Defying his machismo Soham’s fair cheeks turned deep red.

“Are you crazy Minnie?” he said as he helped her to get up and slowly dragged her out of the stadium.

“Yes…for you. Please say you are mine…”

“No.”

Minnie stopped in her steps. “I won’t leave if you say no.” she was adamant.

“Look you are mentally unstable. Let’s get out of here before they get you to an asylum.”

“So you take me to your home instead…please Soham.” Minnie kept on begging.

They talked on for hours but both of them realized that beyond their anger, resentment and jealousy they had managed to hold on to the love for each other.

“Minnie I truly love you…in these few years I have not even tried to date. But you scare me. Look at you…you were trying hard to settle down. You have hurt me before and I feel that you might leave me again…” Soham confessed.

“Then marry me and anchor me down by a binding contract.”

“Oh…really? So it no longer matters to you that I’ve been physically intimate before?”

“What hurts me is the fact that you are not a virgin and I am.” Minnie said. “Why can’t you make the scores even and take me to your side tonight?”

Minnie sounded drunk but Soham knew that she was completely sober.

She had that same wide eyed expression on her face. Soham realized that she indeed loved him…may be in a way that was very different. But may be it did not matter.

Soham and Minnie decided after a very long evening and a very long night that they will give things another shot. For several days they focused on enjoying the present. And then when Soham felt that Minnie’s crazy quotient was at an all time low he brought up his apprehensions.

“I feel that you are playing me. You’ll leave me at your convenience if and when you can.”

“Soham I proposed marriage to you. You’re the one who cleverly skirted the question. I should be insecure here.”

“But even if we marry…what about your pre defined ideas? You said you’d wish to remember me when you fight with your husband…if I become the husband I’ll always feel that you’ve given my fantasy role away to your ex. I don’t want that.”

“So which role do you want? That of the husband or that of the fantasy?”

“I don’t know. And I don’t like the way you confuse me.”

“You can have both. You and I can marry and be serious from now on. But I have 2 previous versions of you as my fantasy. My online boyfriend Soham and the familiar stranger Soham at the mall.”

Minnie was smiling confidently but Soham felt controlled and manipulated in front of this woman. Soham really had no plans to get married so fast but he knew he could not risk to leave Minnie officially unmarried and available to others. He thought a lot and decided to do what made him the happiest.

They got married after 2 more months.

“Perhaps I am a television who was looking for his remote,” Soham happily thought as he exchanged garlands with Minnie.