Parallel Lines

There was a bunch of school students waiting outside the college campus. They were feeling nervous and jittery. No, it was not the day of admission. It was a much grander day. Casus belli, the most popular college fest of the city was being held and the high school kids just hoped to get entry even if it were for a few minutes. Their favorite band was supposed to play and they had turned up hoping that they will be allowed to witness history.

But the gatekeeper had strict instructions to allow only those with gate passes and these kids had not managed to get the passes from anywhere.

Shireen was one among these children. She had put on chalky make-up on her face and worn the lowest permissible neckline. But her hopes of getting in were dwindling.

Her friend Rohan saw the opportunity and pulled her aside.

“I can get 2 passes. My cousin goes to this college.”

“What? And you never told us this?”

“Shh!! Firstly I don’t know if he will agree to let us in. Secondly I can definitely not ask him to arrange for 21 passes. Slowly detach yourself from the group and meet me at the back entrance. I will call Gaurav meanwhile.”

Shireen knew that Rohan had a crush on her and on any other day she would not take a favor from him. But today she needed to go in just to see her idol Maverick Matthews perform.

She went up to her friends and said apologetically, “I’ve to start for home. I don’t think they will let us in. If it gets too late I will get into trouble at home.”

Some of her friends were dismayed; others were hopeful that diminishing numbers might help the waiting ones to get in.

She went round the campus and met Rohan at the other entrance. He was holding 2 passes and sporting the biggest grin ever. Shireen spontaneously smiled at him and ran up to him.

“Gaurav sent these 2 for me.”

“Oh…you are a genius Rohan!!!”

Shireen was liberal with compliments and Rohan’s heart danced as they entered the campus together.

However Maverick Matthews had not reached the grounds yet and only performances by college students were taking place.

Shireen didn’t mind waiting. Besides this was a college fest and hence 10 times cooler than anything she had done so far. She felt so grown up and happy to be a part of this world.

A girl was dancing to a fast number on stage when Shireen and Rohan reached the performance area. A bunch of students in weird costumes were waiting for their turn at the side.

“That’s my brother,” said Rohan pointing to a tall guy in torn jeans and black vest. He had brownish wavy hair and a face that reminded her of Shahid Afridi in his hey days. His muscular shoulders tapered down to a narrow hip and his pants seemed to conceal a pair of sturdy legs. Shireen gulped unintentionally and kept on staring. Garuav smiled to reveal dimpled smile that added a boyish charm to his strong features.

“Hi! I am Gaurav,” he said as he held out his hand.

Shireen mumbled her name as she shakily stuck her hand out.

Gaurav held her hands and shook them firmly.

His hands were warm. Suddenly in the chilly evening of November Shireen started to sweat.

“Gaurav is performing tonight,” Rohan chipped in and his voice zapped Shireen back to her senses.

“Ohh…thank you Gaurav…I mean for the passes…you are very generous…” Shireen managed to say.

“I sure don’t regret my generosity today,” Gaurav left with a wink.

He went up on stage and danced with a group of outrageously flashy guys. Honestly it was more like coordinated calisthenics and certainly nothing like “dance”.

But the energy of the boys was high and the background music was a popular Bollywood hit and no one really cared to see the subtle nuances of artistic dance.

When Gaurav and his team were done the crowd erupted in claps and appreciative hoots.

Gaurave bowed and suddenly grabbed the mike from the anchor who had walked in to announce the next performance.

To the surprise of everyone he said he started to sing…

 “Some day, when I'm awfully low
When the world is cold
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight

Yes, you're lovely
With your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love you
And the way you look tonight ”

The entire time he maintained eye contact with Shireen. He bowed a little and left the stage with a mysterious smile. The crowd cheered even louder and there were thundering claps.

Shireen was blushing furiously although no one apart from Rohan had understood what just happened.

“You should know that Gaurav is a bit flirtatious. He didn’t mean anything…so don’t get ideas.” Rohan quickly said.

“Hey you think I am stupid?”

“You do have a stupid look on your face.”

The rest of the evening immediately became a glum for Rohan and irrelevant for Shireen. They realized after a while that Maverick might appear on stage past midnight and that was no way an accepted time at their homes.

So they headed home together. Shireen in a happy trance and Rohan feeling completely mad about his mistake.

That night Shireen found it hard to fall asleep. And even when she did sleep she continued to think of Gaurav in her dreams.

But the next morning was different. The bright sun was out and in the prudish starchy daylight the experience of the previous night seemed ludicrous and impossible. Shireen quickly took her bath, had her breakfast and started for school. Her mother once asked her if anything was wrong but she said nothing. Shireen had no wish to tell her mother about the dreamy evening she had the day before. It would be her precious unreal evening forever.

However a big surprise was waiting at her school gate.

“Hey you look prettier without make up,” Gaurav flashed his smile. Dressed in white tee shirt and blue jeans (that was not torn) he looked more real today. The sun light did take away some of his cool quotient. But it made him more within Shireen’s reach and she liked it.

 “Hi! How did you know? I mean…you are here…how…why…”

Shireen was visibly happy.

“Aren’t you relieved that I found you out?” Gaurav had a look of mock astonishment on his face. 

And it led way to nervous exchanges of broad smiles and phone numbers.

Gaurav and Shireen fell in love like that and they fell into it in a rather intense and perhaps irreversible manner.

Shireen spent every night stalking Gaurav’s online accounts just to make sure that he truly belonged to her. Though Rohan tried to convince Shireen otherwise Shireen found no trace of Gaurav’s promiscuity. He was a popular guy in college whom girls happened to like a lot but that was it.

To Gaurav, Shireen was a breath of fresh air. A kind soul who never asked him about his future plans nor calculated his money potential. She was still in the process of growing up and was in no way calculative. Her love was pure unlike the fake girls he had at his disposal at his college.

Both Gaurav and Shireen felt addicted to each other. They talked in the mornings and again in the evenings and again at nights till it was impossible to stave off sleep. Eating, sleeping and other routine activities seemed so unnecessary and they felt this huge need to be with each other.

Love in its purest form can give you a high that no other narcotic can simulate and these two young lovers now felt this insane and immeasurable joy in their hearts.

But there has to be a “but” in all love stories. And in this case the “but” happened to be Rohan. He knew this was wrong. He did not know why but he knew that he had to do all that he could to prevent this from going on.

And he started his research. 

He found out that Shireen came from a conservative family and she had not disclosed about her new found love at home. Very good.

Gaurav too had not told his parents about it. Even better.

Also though every one in Gaurav’s college knew about them as love birds there was no official confirmation of this fact from Gaurav. Awesome!

Rohan worked on his material and set the plot.

It happened like this. Gaurav being the cool college boy used to have sleepovers at his place when his parents were away. It used to be a typical all nighter for the boys with plenty of alcohol and food. And of course they talked. They talked about everything under the sun and they felt this easy connection with each other which made them feel very reassured and happy about life. Their conversations made no sense but they all felt ready to die for each other (if the situation demands). And this gave immense fulfillment to the boys.

On one such night Rohan had obtained invitation to such a booze party at Gaurav’s place. He went there with a plan and executed it well.

The next day Rohan went up to Shireen with a nonchalant face and asked her to listen to a voice recording in his phone.

“She is just a friend…No…no…I don’t love Shireen.”

This is all that Shireen could hear and the voice belonged to Gaurav.

Shireen cheeks became red at once...she had no idea if it was grief or embarrassment that stung her heart at the moment.

She got up and ran away. Rohan had hoped to lend her his shoulder but he had started to realize that his plans do not quite work the way he plans them.

He did not give up though and on his seventh try in the evening Shireen picked up the phone. They talked for long and Rohan told her in many ways that Gaurav was a guy with loose morals who had never intended to be with Shireen in the long term.

Shireen went to bed with swollen eyes and avoided her mother saying that she had a headache. These days Shireen talked very less to her and she had given the excuse of ever surmounting pressure of studies. Her mother had somehow bought the excuses and today also she left her after making her a bowl of hot chicken soup.

It was 2am in the morning when she called Gaurav. She had reasoned with herself that she will wait till next morning but her tears refused to stop and she had to get an answer now.

Gaurav profusely apologized and readily admitted that he had said so under the influence of alcohol.

“But alcohol makes men say the truth…” Shireen countered.

“It’s not like that. I was not that high…just a few pegs down and stupid.” Gaurav said.

“You don’t love me or are you embarrassed of me?” Shireen was direct.

“I love you Shireen.”

“So you are embarrassed of me.”

“No! You don’t know how college boys are. They kept on teasing me and called me hen pecked and what not. I just felt that I needed to reinstate myself as a person who is not a fool.”

“And being with me makes you look like a fool.”

“That’s not what I meant. I am truly sorry…I’d have felt bad too if you did it. But please forgive me. Let’s not break our hearts over this.”

Shireen softened a bit and a part of her wanted to accept this apology and end it there. But Rohan’s words came back to her mind. So went on.

“And are you really planning to sit for GRE?” Shireen asked.

“Yes. How does that matter?”

“You never told me.”

“I told no one apart from my parents. It’s in the planning stage only.”

“So you don’t wish to take up the job that you landed from campus placement?”

“Why are you talking so coldly? Maybe no. I wish to explore other stuff in life…like going abroad to do a master’s program.”

“And you never told me because it’d be easier to leave me.”

“Look Shireen…this is ridiculous. I am sorry about what I said. But this is unrelated to that. I have ambitions in life and it is not a big crime if I don’t tell you about a dream of mine.”

Shireen sighed.

“You told all your friends…that’s how I found out. Rohan told me about your GRE plans.”

“That BC knows nothing. He will go and prattle when and where not needed. See I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you. I don’t know if I will get accepted or not. I wanted to break the news after making it.”

Shireen laughed sarcastically.

“You wanted to leave me and surprise me.”

“It’s not so.”

“Do your parents know about me?”

“No. But you requested to keep things off the parents because your family is strict.”

“No…I said my family is strict and I am still in school. So I need time. But you have a job and are in college. Plus your parents are liberal. You could have at least given a hint about me.”

The reasoning went on for 3 hours. But Gaurav was talking to a wall. Shireen was inflexible today. 

He did not know that Rohan had sealed every single loophole in the evening. Gaurav was saying all the wrong answers that Rohan had predicted and Shireen’s resolve was getting stronger.

The night ended in a break up. It was also another chilly November night and Shireen had never felt lonelier in life.

Years flew on. Shireen and Gaurav had gone along separate paths. Shireen is now a doctor. 

The experience with Gaurav had shaken her for life and made her more careful with her feelings. She had finally found structure and happiness in life. She had found love too but may be the definition of love had changed forever.

She no longer thinks of Gaurav. Her present is beautiful. Plus after managing home and work she hardly had any time left for romanticizing her past. Life was wholesome and happy, a tad boring but there was no risk of a painful heartbreak anymore. And that made Shireen very feel good.

All was fine and Shireen had accepted life as it is but then one night she had a dream. In her dream Gaurav and she were travelling in a train. They were sitting side by side but both angry with each other and looking at opposite directions.

She woke up. And she terribly longed to live that moment. The anger that she felt in her dream, the kind of anger that you can only share with someone you love, the kind of anger that needs a premise of lasting love to feel. She felt a gnawing pain inside knowing that it was impossible to live that dream.

Today she did the chores at home a bit slowly and set for work unmindful. She was walking slowly towards the bus stop wondering why she had to have the strangely disconcerting dream after ages.

And when she reached the bus stop she suddenly saw Gaurav at the bus stop. For a while she thought that she was hallucinating but she was not. Gaurav was truly there. He had grown older and perhaps his handsomeness had diminished a bit with the passing years. But Shireen was immune to that. She stared at him blushing furiously like she had done a long time back.

Gaurav smiled uncomfortably. He was surprised too. He did not know whether Shireen would even acknowledge him or would walk away.

But she responded with a smile. It turned out that they were headed towards the same direction.

So they boarded the bus and sat side by side inside the bus. Shireen could not believe that this was happening. Her heart was racing after a long time and she did not know how she could feel a sense of relief at such an awkward moment.

“So are you married?” Gaurav started.

“Yes.” Shireen replied. Gaurav was still as direct as before.

“Oh…too bad. I’m still single.” Gaurav turned his lips. And they both smiled. But they could not laugh out aloud...they felt a kind of discomfort.

They both tried to do small talk but the conversation hung in mid sentences.

Both looked expectantly at each other. It was obvious that the chemistry was mutually felt.

“I still miss you Shireen…and I am sorry…” started Gaurav.

“Shhh…let’s not apologize today. Let’s just enjoy this moment like the old times.”

They sat like that for a while..side by side in the bus…the silence oddly pleasing. But time was harsh…it was passing on fast and they had to decide soon if they wished to keep in touch or end it there.

“I lied to you Shireen. I am engaged. I don’t know why I lied. Just seeing you after ages shook me up,” Gaurav realized for good that keeping in touch would not be a healthy option.

Gaurav looked into her eyes and said, “I had lied to my friends on that day too…I hope you know that my love for you was true.”

The only word that Shireen heard in the sentence was “was”.

Shireen smiled. “It’s ok, I understand. When is your wedding?”

“It’s in November. Actually I had a fight with her last night and had been thinking of you all night. I was surprised beyond words to see you in person today.”

Shireen simply nodded. Her face was inscrutable. She was wondering what Gaurav had fought with her fiancee about.

“I am glad that you are married and settled. You deserve a happy life. Basically I am travelling to patch up with Sakshi.”

So his fiancee’s name too started with an “S”…she felt jealous about the unknown and named stranger. Sakshi and Gaurav will now get to relish the anger that she had dreamed of. 

“Bye Gaurav. My best wishes to you and Sakshi.” Why is it necessary to lie to Gaurav all the time, Shireen wondered. 

Gaurav smiled and alighted from the bus and walked away after a wave at Shireen.

He never got to know that Shireen had lied to him; she was still very much single.