Why Do I Love You?

I love you for a reason. I know it does not sound quite perfect but if you have the courage to face the truth then there it is.

Why do people feel that they do not love someone for a reason? That their love is unconditional? Filial love is unconditional; romantic love is very much conditional.

Different people have widely different needs…some go after money, some after looks, some after brains…etc. Actually people go after a combination of different attributes; the difference is usually in the proportion of the individual attributes and then they claim that they fell for the person’s “nature”!

Sure, that’s not entirely wrong, because the nature and personality of a person is collectively built with different doses of discrete attributes.

So, at the point of falling in love, we are falling for a collection of measurable traits which are pleasing to our senses. However, the subject tends to be under the illusion that they fell in love unconditionally and their love will remain unchanged no matter what.

So am I saying that if a formerly beautiful girl loses her face to an acid attack, her boyfriend will stop loving her?

No, love is not opportunism! People genuinely in love will stick through the misfortunes that fall upon their partners.

But now let us go back to the point where the pretty girl got attacked before meeting the boy. Would he still fall in love with her? Forget about pity, would he love her?

You could come back saying that beauty is a superficial trait and may claim that he would still fall in love with her.

Ok. What if her sweet nature got altered due to a particularly brutal experience before they met? What if her tongue got vitriolic due to some unfortunate experience? Would the boy still fall in love with her? 

Believe me, he would not. When we fall for someone we love the entire package and if you strip the package of the offers one by one, we will no longer love the package. Sounds harsh but that's fact.

What happens after falling in love is a different story altogether. Both the girl and the boy change but they change together and so does their definition of love. And changing together strengthens love…usually.

There are of course instances where a mismatch occurs and that ultimately leads to falling out of love.

Love is a powerful but austere emotion, love happens based on certain rigid rules and there is absolutely nothing lovey dovey or coochey cooey about love. If you thought that love is an abstract concept that defies all logic then I'm afraid you are just under an illusion.