Friday, October 12, 2012

Once in a lifetime...


“This job is once in a lifetime career opportunity”, “That vacation was once in a lifetime experience”, ”We fall in love once in a lifetime ”...if you start to count you’ll see that you’ve used “once in a lifetime” definitely more than once in your life... [and the good news is that your life is not over yet.]

The nectar of such an experience lies not in its uniqueness. You stumble upon such moments several times...[or may be the moments stumble upon you!]

Its beauty is manifested in how it blinds all your past experiences into oblivion and lifts your spirits to a seemingly unattainable high. The bliss that you feel in every “once in a lifetime” experience successfully spins a web of illusion that convinces you about its uniqueness.

Let’s hope for a life that would give us more and more chances to overuse this phrase.
After all what is life but a heady concoction of dreams???


Sunday, September 23, 2012

God of the moment


Important disclaimer: The intent of this post is not to disrespect any faith and I completely absolve myself of any responsibility to soothe the frayed of nerves of the people who might feel agitated by it.

Now that I have ensured that no frustrated fanatic can use this post as an excuse to whet their appetite for blood let me proceed with what I wanted to say.

What is the definition of God?

God is someone whom you look up to for protection in a situation which you cannot salvage on your own.
[Although I feel that god can also be defined as the most widely used excuse to bring about catastrophic destruction.]

Anyway...

In life we often come across such crises and who do we ask for help?

I need to eat...but I’m 2 months old.
I need a few more runs to break a record...but my knee is hurt and I can’t run.
I’m in a building that’s on fire...but the exits are blocked.

... ... ...

Yes...we go through such situations every day and we succeed to survive with help from the god of the moment. Sometimes we thank them...sometimes we don’t even acknowledge their importance. Sometimes we are mesmerized by the god of the moment...sometimes we blame them out of confusion.

We often believe that God is omnipotent not to elevate Him to the glorified status but because that way we only need to show gratitude to God and we are done. But gods of the moments...they are often as vulnerable as us. And just showing gratitude would not be enough. We also need to ensure that if and when that person is stuck somewhere we would try our best to be the god of his/her moment. On the contrary we do not have a moral obligation to be there for a God that is omnipotent.

It would indeed be a better world if we could confer gods of the moments an equal status and try to worship Them in the correct way...that is by helping Them in Their hour of need or by emulating Them when others are in need.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Cheapness


We will talk about a particularly cheap person today...literally cheap...not figuratively.

This miser keeps a timepiece handy while making calls. The calls will always end at x minutes 59 seconds. Did you say long distance calls? No...this rule applies for all calls. The justification given is he is utilizing every bit of money that he has paid for the service. When the pay per second pulse had been introduced this person was largely benefitted and could make calls without the distraction of frequent glances at the watch. But then unfortunately the rate went up to 1.2p/sec from 1p/sec and after an elaborate comparison between the running promotional offers the person had to go back to his paranoid policy.

This miser also tries to fall ill when his medicines approach their expiry date. Again the logic is he needs to put the products purchased into proper use.

The perplexing part is that it is hard to justify his frugal behaviour.

This person does not have any monetary woes and has no overt need to save every penny that he can.
There are some people who save every to support some social cause. This person does not have any such inclination either.
Then there is one type of misers who would live like a king on other people’s money but would never spend a dime on others. But this person does not like to sponge off other people. Then what is it?

Cheapness you see...is a hobby for some people.
Some live to earn money, some live to spend money...these people live to optimize spent money.


Friday, August 31, 2012

Who exactly is the “you” in “I love you”?


Your head is swimming...your thinking has become clouded...a rosy haze has descended around you and an overwhelming spell of dizzy happiness has enveloped you...you have fallen in love.

But when people claim “I’m in love with you” have you ever wondered who exactly is the “you” in “I love you”?

This “you” is actually a projected image of the actual person and this “you” does not have a physical existence. 

We never fall in love with real people...we always fall in love with some figment of our absurd imagination....some morphed extension of the real person.

Yet people firmly believe that fantasizing about someone else is as bad as cheating. Well the truth is people in love are always fantasizing...keeping the facade of the real person in front...mentally replacing him/her with the image and feeling high thinking “I’m in love with this amazing person!”
Well the amazing person resides in your mind and is not the person in front of you.

But then sooner or later most people are whisked out of fantasies.
Some zap out of love...some feel heart broken...some start to think boredom is inevitable...

What I am trying to say is that the basic premise of falling in love is flawed. Even though love can be real and is essentially an unsullied expression of a cornucopia of higher emotions...the person you love is always a work of fiction.

But yes...love is eternal...the love that you had felt for that fictitious person...the love that had you reeling in its wake...that was real...it’s a pity that the person it was meant for cannot exist.

Perfection is after all an imaginary concept which we can strive for but never attain...but it’s fascinating to know that we...we human beings with all our imperfections are still capable of imagining perfection...


PS: Let me provide a bonus acid test for ruling out confusion in love.
If I have never hurt you...you’ve loved me never...
If you’ve never hurt me...I’ve loved you never...


Sunday, August 26, 2012

Real flowers vs fake flowers


Which one do you prefer?

Every one would say real flower.

[If you want to vouch for fake flowers you would have to come forward and rationally justify yourself...you are not allowed to pass a strong statement just for the sake of the shock value.]

      But why do we choose real flowers?

Is it because fake flowers are tacky? Not any more...nowadays you get sublimely beautiful fake bouquets.
Is it because they don’t offer the soft touch? Not nowadays...the velvety touch of fake flowers can leave us trembling.
Is it because fake flowers don’t emit fragrances? But tantalizingly perfumed artificial flowers are available these days.

In fact fake flowers come in better customized colours, feel softer to touch and emit fresher fragrances.
Then why is it that we long for real flowers? Real flowers fade away, are vulnerable to external forces and wither away within a finite period of time.

So it is the ephemeral nature of the real flowers that catches our fancy.

Why do we willingly choose transience over permanence? 

May be because in life the real surges of overwhelming emotions are temporary and feelings that we claim to be permanent are in all probability fake...


Sunday, August 19, 2012

The big fuss about numbers


Some people attach way too much importance to telephone numbers...in a disturbingly emotional and clingy way.

You will often come across people who will feel offended and hurt if you cannot recite off their phone numbers. These people probably take the phrase “memorizing by heart” literally.

You remember the person if you find the person fascinating. You remember the phone number if you find the phone number fascinating.

For other numbers there is the phone book where numbers can be saved.
The following are the attributes of a memorable phone number.

  1. The number is an emergency helpline number.
Eg. Police station

  1. The number is a finite repetition of a single digit.
Eg. 88888888

  1. The number has a catchy or at least intriguing rhyme scheme.
Eg. 949494 or at least 357595

  1. The number is a popular series.
Eg. 12358

  1. The number triggers off some personal memory.
Eg. You figure out your own example. Why would I share any of mine?

  1. The number has some dirty connotation.
Eg. Again I trust you to figure out your own example. 

Now if your phone number does not fall into the above categories do not expect your friends, family members, acquaintances or anyone to remember your number. It does not mean you do not create an impact on the person...it just means your telephone number does not.

PS: Oh...I forgot...there is someone who would remember your number no matter how many times you change it and no matter how random a concoction of digits your number be...this person is called a stalker. J



Saturday, August 11, 2012

Hostilities


“Fight like a man”, “Don’t attack from behind”, “Do not harm an unarmed person”, “Never hit a woman”...and the list goes on...the ground rules of warfare.  The kshatriya handbook of combat sounds similar too. All across the world the rules convey a single thought...”fight with your equal”

The very point of a fight is to prove your superiority over someone and yet before a fight you and your adversary need to make sure that you two are equals!!

Another idiosyncratic rule is the undue importance attached to brawn over brain. The use of “chhal” or scheming and plotting is strictly prohibited during a war. An honoured fighter would never stoop to adopt such measures and would proceed to defeat his enemy with sheer strength, skill and agility. But doesn’t that degenerate the warriors into two brainless stubs?  

The aptitude challenged person would still prove his virility through brute force while the less brawn endowed person would rather employ lethal tactics and exploit loopholes in such confrontations.

In a war you fight to win...either as a strategist or as a mass murderer...it’s your call. J