Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi...

 

When someone gets married and forms new relations, the most obvious thing to do would be to use new names to address the members of the new family. But can anyone address the mother-in-law as “saas” and the father-in-law as “sasur”? That sounds so disrespectful, you would say, isn’t it? And I would agree as well. After all, we have relegated all the in-law words to the back benches of our vocabulary. “Saala” and “Saali” are now official expletives that have fallen well below the redemption point. “Saas” comes with the baggage of being the conniving evil in any family. And poor “sasur” often gets dragged into routine conversations as a half-expletive. So, you see, despite all the pretence of treating the in-laws as their own, the Indian society secretly indulges an alternate mindset that stokes the exact opposite viewpoint.

So, what do people do instead? Society prescribes that one must address the in-laws in the same way as they address their own family. This is never easy for anyone to implement. So, how do urban Indians arm-twist their way out of the situation? Simple. They put all the synonyms that they had learnt in grade two to good use. For example, if they call their own parents “ma” and “baba”, the parents-in-law can be “mom” and “dad”. This is a perfectly acceptable solution and I have seen this system work well in many families. Some people do address their in-laws by the same name as their parents. If their parents are “mummy” and “daddy”, so will be the parents-in-law. Yet, when they mouth the word “mummy” they actually mean “wife’s mummy” or “husband’s mummy”. “Spouse apostrophe s” remains silent! But everybody can sense that. Even the saas, kyunki saas bhi…

Perhaps we can destigmatize the words- saas, sasur, saala and saali and start to use them to address the in-laws? This would serve two purposes, firstly, the words would regain respectful places in our vocabulary and secondly, nobody would have to start a marriage under the pressure of unrealistic expectations. Can we accept that the in-laws are not a replacement of one’s family but an addition, a welcome addition?

I think it is high time that we Indians let go of our timeless love for hypocrisy. If you are single you can try this out in the future. (And let me know if it works!) For some of us, the ship has already sailed. So, what do we do? Simple. We will pass the burden of what we couldn’t do to our children. Winks!

Enid Blyton was a Sanghi

 

What do you think of the headline? Preposterous! Isn’t it? Yet, I can dig out a story where she has been praising the holy cow in all her earnestness.  It is titled “The Red and White Cow”. You can take a look at it if you want. The story is about a little boy Peter who used to hate cows as they seemed to be like enemies to him. Until the boy’s mother explains that milk, cream, cheese, and other dairy products that the family enjoys are actually gifts from the cow. The story ends with Peter deciding to be friends with the kind cows. The simple plot that has delighted hordes of children from around the world can now seem pleasant to some groups while being quite offensive to others! Some loonies may even be prompted to put a label on Enid Blyton for writing such a story. And that is what this article is about. Why are we trying to cancel the greatness of Enid Blyton? I know...the cow story is not the reason. But is there any solid ground that justifies the current outrage?

Another story that I would love to highlight is “The Book of Brownies”. Here Blyton has described bald-headed bespectacled people from a mythical Land of Clever People who insist on talking in rhyme all the time. When I read the story back in my childhood, the characters reminded me of Indian sages chanting shlokas. The little me was pleased to think of India as the land of clever people. I guess if a child is made to feel secure of their gender, ethnicity, and nationality, they are likely to see more of positive parallels in the stories they read. When I made this point to some haters, I was told that Enid Blyton was not likely to have held such a generous opinion of Indians. And a lot of examples of racism, xenophobia, and misogyny from her books were cited. Agreed, some of the content was quite shocking and needs moderation. But how can we suddenly go to hating her after having worshipped her for so many years?

The author was a product of her time and wrote certain things that do not sit well with us in the current context. But should that prompt us to dissect her books and make unsavoury remarks about what kind of a person she must have been? We do not talk ill of the dead for a reason. They are not here to defend themselves. Why not apply the same rule to Enid Blyton and respect her memories? She is after all the unofficial English teacher for millions of Indian children.

Funnily enough, I found recently that Dick from the Faraway Tree series has been rechristened as Rick (for obvious reasons) and Dame Slap is now Dame Snap. She only snaps at errant children now instead of slapping them. While a bit of editing may be necessary at certain points, too much censoring will alter the past irreparably. And the children will never find out what social evils were prevalent in the past and how people fought to reform the society. This is extremely important as such examples from the past can motivate them to cleanse the society of the prevalent evils in the future.

And if we still are hell-bent on eradicating Enid Blyton’s books, the best approach would be to write better books, books that are captivating enough to inspire the imagination of an entire generation of children. Because, we, the fans of Enid Blyton will settle for nothing less.