A Secure Home

Joshua looked hard at Michelle’s face. Her layered hair was touching her face at the right places and her almond eyes looked clear and deep. The perfect curve of her lips was accentuated by a slight tremor as she waited for Joshua to speak.

Joshua simply put an arm around his dog that was seated beside him on the wooden park bench. “Fluff is family to me. I can’t be with you if you want him out,” Joshua said each word slowly with distinct articulation.

“That’s not what I said,” Michelle put her hand on Joshua’s shoulder and inched closer.

Joshua glared back and shoved away her hand.

“You are most likely to walk out on me after a few years…Fluff would be with me all his life. The wedding is off,” Joshua fired away in a raised voice. Then he broke off eye contact with Michelle and stared hard at the blank patch of soil in the middle of the park which had been freshly curetted for new saplings.

After a few futile attempts at further conversation Michelle broke into a sob and went home alone.

Feeling relieved, Fluff snuggled closer to Joshua. Joshua picked the dog up on his lap, allowing Fluff to dapple him with warm licks.

Joshua’s childhood had been quite a complex one. His earliest memories were of a cosy two storied house in the outskirts of the town. Joshua used to spend the mornings in their small garden using branches to hunt creatures he imagined to be hiding from him. Hours flew by till the delicious aroma of roasted spices and sautéed herbs announced lunch hour to him.

Joshua remembered clearly how good it felt when his mother Jane came out to scoop up his little body into her loving arms. After a hearty lunch Jane and Joshua would sit together playing board games till the cheerful voice of Mr Warner announced his entry in early evening.

Mr Warner was a large man with messy hair and a bushy beard. Jane and Joshua often went to the town market with him and Mr Warner used to park Joshua on his broad shoulders during the long walks. Joshua simply adored Mr Warner.

In contrast Joshua’s father Michael was a handsome man with a neat appearance. But his grumpy mood and long business tours chipped away on his popularity with his son.

So when it was time for Michael to come home for a week neither Jane nor Joshua was happy. Joshua went to bed wondering if he could somehow trade his father for Mr Warner.

The next morning Josh woke up to the sound of breaking glass.

He sat up quickly and rubbed his eyes. Soon there was another crash and a loud voice from the direction of the living room. Joshua straightened his duck printed night suit and got into his slippers. As he hurried ahead there were more sounds of things being thrown around.

On reaching the scene he was shocked. Jane was sitting on the sofa, supporting her head with one hand and brushing away the continuous flow of tears with another.

Michael looked livid, standing tall beside the coffee table breaking one item after the other and shouting profanities at Mr Warner, who by the way, was not present there.

Joshua would have fled had a dish not come crashing near him. It became too much to contain into his little heart and he began to scream.

Michael stopped and became stone still at the sight of his son. Jane ran to Joshua and picked him up.

Mother and son hugged each other tightly, united against the furious monster as they walked away. Michael saw the diminishing silhouette of his wife and child through the hallway and the inside of his chest started to ache very hard.

A few days after the incident Jane took Joshua to an ice cream parlour and told him after 4 scoops of ice cream that he would be getting Mr Warner as his daddy soon.

Joshua jumped up in excitement and clapped his hands. The bribery of ice creams usually was prelude to bad news; that day turned out to be a wonderful exception.

Michael came to see Joshua after the divorce was finalized.

Joshua wanted to run out of his room but his father was in the doorway.

“Would you be able to live in this house with just me? Say, I stop going on tours and your mother moves out…would you like to be here with your father instead?” Michael was begging but it seemed to Josh like a curse from one of his night time folk tale. He said nothing but Michael had gotten the answer from his son’s frozen expression.

Within days Michael moved out. He was under no obligation to pay Jane alimony after being cheated on but he did not wish to uproot his child from his known environment.

Joshua was overjoyed when finally Mr Warner came one evening along with his bags. Michael too visited soon hoping to resolve the custody issue amicably. Both Jane and Josh were appalled at the suggestion of shared custody.

It was Mr Warner who stepped in and convinced Joshua to spend the weekends with his real father.

“But I love you more!” Joshua’s little eyes looked worried as he bent his neck backward to meet Mr Warner’s gaze.

“I know son…I’d be very proud if you do this for me,” Mr Warner said in his kindest voice as he cupped Joshua’s little face in his huge rough hands.

Joshua nodded his head and hugged Mr Warner at his waist.

 Joshua’s loyalty to Mr Warner made him rude to Michael in the two days they had to spend together each week.  But somehow he found out that he was often left with his father for more than 2 days. Mr Warner’s affection for Josh was waning steadily and although Joshua refused to take any serious note of the shift, he knew deep down something horrible was about to happen.

It happened in the form of a vacation to Punta Cana. Joshua listened in horror from his bedroom as Mr Warner quarrelled with his mother.

 “Pack off the nuisance to his father’s or I am cancelling the trip,” he barked. Joshua was frightened but he knew his mother would never agree to dump him.

But the next day after breakfast Jane dropped Joshua at Michael’s place for 2 weeks.

“Mommy loves you dear...I’ll be back soon,” she whispered into Joshua’s ears before leaving.

Michael tried to be with his son as much as possible but he still had to be away for work for a large part of the day. It was in those idle hours of unplanned boredom that Joshua had met Fluff’s mother Husky. Back then Husky was a stray puppy orphaned by a road accident.

Taking care of Husky gave Joshua a sense of purpose. Little Husky grew deeply attached to Joshua in those two weeks. When it was time for Joshua to leave Husky started to travel back and forth across the neighbourhoods just to be able to sleep at Joshua’s doorstep.

Joshua’s rift with Jane and Mr Warner started to widen further when Jane got pregnant for the second time. Jane had held Joshua on her lap before disclosing the news.

“You are going to have a baby sister soon.”

“You’re replacing me!” Joshua had replied in absolute shock. After that day Joshua started to find peace in the quiet care and love that Michael offered him. He had some freedom at Michael’s place and also Husky to keep him company. Joshua and Husky grew up together and touched puberty at about the same time and he often took dating lessons from her.

After Joshua’s first break up he was coming home crestfallen only to witness Husky making out with her new boyfriend. Joshua instinctively merged himself with a stubby bush.

He watched quietly as Husky went on to have fun with 2 more dogs that had visited from the next street. Soon Joshua tried out multi-dating too and it turned out to be much more exciting.

Husky’s frequent trysts got her pregnant rather early and Joshua became worried about the perils of street life affecting her health. That evening Joshua went up to Michael.

“Can I let Husky stay indoors? With us?” Joshua asked as he uncomfortably shifted his weight from one leg to another.

Michael looked up from his book at Joshua and gradually a lump formed at this throat.

“Josh…you are all I have. If it makes you happy then please do invite your little friend inside,” Michael said.

“Thanks dad!!!” Joshua’s eyes sparkled as he went out to get Husky.

But Husky and Joshua’s spree inside the house lasted only for 11 days.

Then one evening as Joshua was sitting cross legged in front of the fireplace with Husky napping beside him, Michael walked in with Norah.

Joshua identified her instantly as the librarian from his old school. She was neither young nor pretty but it was obvious that she had managed to somehow ensnare his father’s attention.

“Norah…this is my son Joshua,” Michael said with a proud smile, using his outstretched left hand to point at Josh while his right hand wrapped around Norah’s waist giving her a gentle squeeze.

Joshua coiled in disgust. He said something in an inaudible voice and left the room. Michael, unlike Joshua had looked beyond Norah’s plain appearance and had fallen for the lure of secure company that her heart had to offer. Their relationship flourished and soon Michael had another talk with Joshua.

“Josh I wanted you to know that Norah and I are moving in together,” Michael said to him.

Joshua had his legs stationed up on two sides of his gaming console while both his hands were firing away the leg movements for his players in a virtual football match.

Michael repeated himself 3 times to get a response from Joshua.

“I heard you…what do you want? My blessings?” Joshua paused and turned sideways to face his father.

“That’d be great,” Michael laughed uncomfortably.

Joshua made a face and Michael stiffened a bit and cleared his throat.

“There’s one more thing…Norah is allergic to dogs. You have to take Husky out again.”

Joshua said nothing…his eyes gave away no reaction as well.

“Well I’m sure she won’t mind. I’ll continue to sponsor her food and other treats…please Josh…for me…”

“It’s your house dad…I’ll take Husky out,” Joshua said.

Michael tried his best to make up for the incident but Joshua’s equation with him had changed forever.

Joshua figured out that for unconditional love it was only Husky that he could turn to. His only problem regarding Husky was her ever expanding family. But he soon observed that Husky liked to get rid of her puppies the moment they lost the cuteness of infancy, much like his mother Jane.

As the years rolled on Husky started to get old and feeble. Joshua was now a grown man in his college years yet the day when Husky silently died in the course of a night, Joshua cried for days like a baby. His only consolation was that he now had Fluff, who was the last of Husky’s puppies. Since Fluff was not strong like his other siblings, he never had the confidence to be on his own.

Joshua busied himself with studies at college and it was in college that he had met Michelle. He had resisted all feelings initially and had tried to focus on the good regular sex. But then they started to stay up the nights to talk. And when two hormonal people talk, post intimacy, in the vulnerable hours of the night, it usually becomes impossible to keep love at bay.

Joshua had proposed to Michelle within a week of converting his first job after college. Michelle understood him like no other person. She had been raised mostly by her grandmother because her much-in-love parents shuffled between big cities chasing their own dreams. It was ironical that two very different sets of parents had given Joshua and Michelle a very similar childhood.

When their wedding was fixed, for the umpteenth time in life Joshua felt very close to having a loving home. But Michelle declared to him on a certain balmy afternoon that Fluff will have to live outdoors even after they move in together. Her late grandmother had left two cats under her care and Michelle did not want to impose upon them the inclusion of Fluff. And for the umpteenth time in life Joshua’s dreams got rudely shattered.

As evening descended at the park, Joshua stood up. Not a single tear drop escaped his eyes, not a single sigh heaved off his chest…life had prepared him well to deal with disappointments. He walked home calmly with Fluff in tow.

In the next few weeks Joshua rented out a small place close to work and cut off all ties with Michelle. It was going to be a fresh start for him and Fluff. Joshua distracted himself from his past by immersing himself in work and it resulted in tremendous professional growth. At home Fluff and him led a quiet and content life. This arrangement went on for just a year after which Fluff died an untimely death, affected by a rare bout of liver disease.

All of Joshua's family had turned up on Fluff’s funeral. Michael stood with Norah on his right while Jane stood on his left along with a balding Mr Warner and their daughter.

Joshua looked into their eyes and read a mixture of pity and guilt. He said polite thank you’s and left quickly.

For a few weeks Joshua found it hard to do the smallest things in life. He was still coping with the loss when one day Joshua was stopped by a young man at the parking lot of his work place.

“Hey…I’m Steve…have a minute?” The guy pushed into Joshua’s hand a business card.

“Who are you?” Joshua was annoyed.

“I run an animal rescue and adoption centre…I was wondering if you would like to visit us some day…” Steve had a hesitant smile on his lips.

Joshua's forehead was still creased.

“Michelle sent me,” Steve explained in short.

 “So she has been stalking me all this while!” Joshua smirked and looked away.

“Actually she’s with me now,” Steve clarified and straightened his slouch impulsively.

Joshua’s smile vanished.

“I’ll get in touch with you…thanks Steve,” Joshua gave an uncomfortable nod to Steve and got into his car fast. A lot of thoughts were rushing into his head all together and the first one in the line was to punch Steve hard in the face.

On a whim Joshua took a sharp turn from his usual route and started to drive towards the small apartment where Michelle used to live when they dated.

Was she still there? Did Steve too live with her now? Did she love him?

Joshua decided to yell his heart out at Michelle but the moment she threw the door open, his mind went blank.

There she was wearing a baggy sweat shirt, her hair tied up in a messy bun and her countenance revealing pure joy at seeing him. Strangely, proximity with Michelle even after a year, evoked in Joshua a sense of being home.

“Josh!!! Come in.”

Michelle pulled him in by his arms and made him sit down on her couch. She sat on the coffee table facing him and waited for Joshua to speak.

“You have no right to leave me because of Fluff and then date another bloke with a zoo!”

Michelle was startled at the sudden statement.

“Steve?”

“And you then you send him to rub the news to my face…”

Michelle leaned forward and hugged Joshua tightly while he was still in mid sentence.

 “What’s that for?” Joshua felt his angst melt away as the warmth of Michelle’s body permeated through his clothes to gently caress his skin.

“Steve is married to my friend from work. He probably said that to get you worked up. You broke up with me…I never did.”

Michelle pulled herself back and held up her left hand.  Sitting on her ring finger was the gleaming ring made of an affordable alloy which Joshua had once presented to her.

She got up from the table and went to the kitchen counter to fix two drinks.

“I tried to get in touch many times…you were adamant.”

She picked up the glasses and swerved around only to bump into the arms of Joshua who had silently walked up to her.

“Ouch…now we have scotch over ourselves…” Michelle said as the glasses clinked splashing out amber liquid.

“We know how to clean that off baby…” Joshua tenderly pulled Michelle closer and they merged into a long comforting kiss. And in the hours of passion that followed they both realized that they had never really fallen out of love.

They did not notice when the night had flown by but as Michelle looked out of her window, the night sky seemed to be turning a shade paler. She was half seated on her side of the bed caressing Joshua’s muscular arm which now rested on her lap.

“I still take care of Grandma’s cats…and they still hate dogs…”

 “Well...I’m actually glad you never gave up on them,” Joshua pulled Michelle’s cheek lightly and smiled.

“But what next...for us? What're you thinking?” Michelle’s voice quivered as she tried to gauge Joshua's thoughts.

“I’m thinking that we should sleep now...I’m very sleepy...”

Michelle started to feel a tad worried. Then she heard Joshua mumble the following words before dawdling off to sleep.

“Tomorrow will be a long day...we’ll start by applying for a fresh marriage license...and then we've to look for our new home.”