There’s something Fishy about a Bong who doesn’t love Fish…

Bongs can be segregated into 3 categories with respect to their relationship to fish.

1. Secure marital relationship…love for each other happily announced to the world:

These Bongs eat fish every day and flaunt the fish recipes to the rest of the world.

If someone ever puts a question mark over the delectability of fish he/she would be invited over and treated to several dishes prepared to perfection until the person succumbs to the subtle appeal of fish.

Relationship quote: “I love you dear…you love me too…and if anyone ever dares to criticize you I’ll punch the person to death.”

2. Secret affair…all consuming love but scared of admitting in front of the world:

These Bongs suffer from some sort of identity crisis and try to conceal the innate Bongness by flaunting their aversion to fish. But when no one is watching they would sauté fish to perfection, subject himself/herself to sheer gluttony and take a satiated sigh of relief.

Relationship quote: “I love you dear but the world makes cruel jokes about our relationship…so let’s just pretend that we are not into each other.”

3. Sedate taken for granted relationship…deeply in love without even knowing

These Bongs are used to having fish for lunch and dinner every day. Ask them whether they love it and you would get a prompt “not really” as reply. It’s when they move out of home that they realize that they had always loved fish. [because unlike chicken cooking fish mandates a considerable amount of skill and this skill is a closely guarded secret kept by Bong mothers] Some love bhetki and pompfret…some love prawns [yeah prawns, shrimps, lobsters…all are fishes to Bongs J]…some love pabda and parshe…but they do love some fish! They just needed to be apart for some time to realize their love for fish.

Relationship quote: “I don’t love you…you and I are just friends…like life and air…like flower and fragrance…like music and rhythm…”

PS: Since we have also discussed relationships in the sub plot one tip to the non Bongs dating Bongs…instead of saying the mispronounced “Ami tomake…” line say it in your own language  [though it sounds incredibly sweet when you say "tumake" instead of "tomake"] …the recipient would love the exotic appeal. Winks!

Whims of a spineless country...

I’m tired of listening to the incredible aspects of my country...I’m tired of defending the traditional customs and rituals that actually make no sense...I’m tired of convincing myself that I’m living in the best possible society of all eras...

Eg. Touching feet and folding hands in Namaste

To pay my respect to someone why do I need to belittle myself??? As far as I know there is no law of conservation of greatness mandating it for one to be disgraced in order to confer higher honours on another person.

Folding hands and touching feet are both signs of begging for mercy. Yet our culture demands that we greet every one with a Namaste and express our reverence by touching feet of the elderly.

What am I apologizing for? For my existence???

What am I seeking forgiveness for? For being myself???

This is a direct reflection of the meek and unsure mindset of this land. Always suffering from low esteem this society resorts to flattery and self-humiliation to express respect.

In our hypocritical society you can get away with any crime as long as you have obtained the approvals from society.

Murder is a crime but you can kill people brutally if society choose to declare a war. Sleeping with a total stranger in an arranged marriage makes perfect sense in this society but it vehemently condemns consensual premarital sex on grounds of vulgarity.

Think of any random crime that you want to commit...convince this stupid, gullible and judgemental society about its necessity and I'm sure you'd be lauded for committing the crime.

Again a reflection of how much interfering our society can get. It is confused to the core and cannot tell right from wrong but it has to impose its confused opinions on the lives of people. Freedom is a word that this society has never understood and if things continue to be like this we too would never get a chance to know the meaning of the word.

It's sickening to see how this society passes off its morbid whims in the name of Puritanism.

It’s even more sickening to see how proud it is about its self certified enriched culture and how happily it chooses to deride people who break the convention.

Psychology of a flirt

1. The casual flirt:

Motive- To express genuine appreciation

This person is lavish with compliments and if he/she is fond of a particular person he/she will not shy away from expressing it. The casual flirt will never cross a certain limit and is sensitive enough to not hurt someone.

2. The egoistic flirt:

Motive-Morale boosting

This person will flirt around with as many girls/boys as possible in a bid to win over their hearts. The egoistic flirt would be shattered if they ever come to know that one of their conquests commands a larger fan base than themselves.

3. The opportunist flirt:

Motive: To gain a favour

This person will flirt with someone already smitten by his/her charms in order to get something done by the victim.  A coquettish  caress, a promise laden look, a vulnerable smile...and many other tricks are put into play by the opportunist and the hypnotized victim would consider it a privilege to carry out his majesty’s/her majesty’s orders.

4. The vindictive flirt:

Motive: To avenge some past hurt

This person is a spurned lover. Now they are out on the prowl waiting to pounce upon some unsuspecting innocent prey. The vindictive flirt takes a sadistic pleasure from breaking hearts...it gives them a high to know that they are also capable of inflicting such unbearable pain as they had been once subjected to.

5. The wannabe flirt:

Motive: To be the talking point

This person is boring and does not get attention from any one. The wannabe flirt sees people talking about the flirts all the time and they try their best to become one. Unfortunately there are no takers and they remain a social embarrassment.

6. The dreamer flirt:

Motive: To get inspiration

This person is addicted to the heady feeling that comes with love and cannot imagine life without a muse. The dreamer flirt is perpetually in love...albeit with different people at different points of time.

PS: So have you identified your type? No? You just reminded me of another important type.

7. The perpetual good boy/girl: 

Motive: To remain in good books of the elderly

This person spends a life time complying with the whims of the previous generation. The perpetual good boy/girl is also a perpetually sad person. The world can get a glimpse of this person's true flirty self when they are away from their social circle.

Stupid? Intelligent? Can’t decide?

Do you consider yourself to be intelligent? Doesn’t really matter...your opinion is irrelevant.

Do (most) people around you consider you intelligent? Now that is what is important.

You are intelligent if you have been successful in subtly convincing people around to “voluntarily” consider you smart.

Intellect cannot be quantified. There is not yet a device to measure the quality and quantity of the grey matter that we house in our skulls.

There are zones of intellect. Any one residing out of your zone of intellect is actually stupid to you and vice versa.  

Ideally people should limit 70% of their conversation with people who fall within the same band of intellect. 15% of conversation should be with people falling in a band that they consider to be slightly higher placed than their own band in order to take inspiration. The rest 10% should be with people falling in the band slightly lower placed to generate some feel-good factor.

So did you or did you not notice that five percent of conversation time has gone missing? During that time people should talk to the dimwits ...it would help them to appreciate the value of silence.  J

Intellect like beauty is to be judged by the beholder...no no...listener.

PS: While we are on this...when women say that they like greying men...they are talking about the grey cells inside the skull and not about the ones on their scalp!!!