Songs during a bus journey

Music addicts would know that nowadays an indispensable application in a mobile phone is the FM radio and the music player.

So at a given point of time a normal music lover has access to around 6-8 radio stations (counting the ones suited to his taste out of the total 15-16 stations) and a huge gallery of pre loaded songs in the phone memory.

Common behaviour while listening to music in a bus:

Stage 1:

Flipping radio stations in the hope of coming across a better song...sometimes not even a better song...but just a song better suited to the current mood...

Stage 2:

Not finding the correct song the music lover listens to something mediocre but catchy and then thinks “Ooooh...what a miss!” when he finds the ending line of a seemingly perfect song at another station.

Stage 3:

The music lover decides, "Never again... I will keep sifting through the stations so that I do not miss the best available song."

Stage 4:

The music lover is bored beyond belief due to

Either,  a> prolonged songless commercial breaks

Or          b> listening to partial songs with half-hearted enthusiasm

Stage 5:

The music lover feels absolutely sick of the dearth of good songs and feels tired as his bus journey has not been a satiated experience.

Time to listen to the timeless favourite in his music gallery. The favourite song that might have been there since childhood or from his late teens or is a very recent year-old release that he has never been able to get off his mind.

The music lover finally heaves a sigh of relief as the song flows through him soothing him, erasing out all the fatigue and infusing in him the warmth of conquest.

 Now replace a music lover with “a man” and songs with “girls” and read the last paragraph again...

PS: Who were you thinking about while reading "the favourite song" part? Yes...she is probably the one for you.

Anarchy!!!

Once upon a time...there was a beautiful land called Society.

The land still exists...the applicability of the adjective is questionable though...

Monarchy has prevailed in this land for ages. In the 1970’s the falling of the dynasties of Simplicity, Humility and Quietude ushered in the era of the Complex-es.

The first king:

First name: Inferiority

Last name: Complex

This tyrant had imposed radical ideas on his subjects. Most subjects who in the period of confusion chose to follow his principles ended up living lives of despair and abysmally low self esteem.  A bunch of rebels refused to succumb to his rule and tried to infuse reason and logic in the minds of the dwellers of Society. But they were largely unsuccessful.

That is when they abducted Inferiority’s son and raised them in the wilderness on their own new found philosophies and ideas. When the time was right...they christened him the new monarch in the new millennium.

Yes...you have got it right.

The second king:

First name: Superiority

Second name: Complex

Everyone in the land of Society loved Superiority’s ideas. They all came out of servile mindsets that their forefathers had suffered from. They felt happy all the time.

 The wise rebels were successful...or so they thought.

Until...

...they found out that every one is so complacent that they snub all new ideas.

They are so pleased with themselves that concept of praising someone else was blending into oblivion. Every mediocre person believes in the new mantra, “I am the best...you are worthless.”

The wise rebels knew they were in trouble.

The rebels have abducted Superiority’s son too and are bringing him up with the revised lessons. But the rebels are growing old and their hopes are dimming...

PS: By the way this new kid has chosen to drop his father’s surname and instead use the surname from the distaff side...well...I will leave it for you to guess the surname...

An unfair expletive

A few days ago I heard a kid memorizing a list from his grammar book.

“Bull-Cow

Gander-Goose

Dog-*****

…”

The innocent child was screaming out the list in an attempt to drown the myriad distractions around him. But I being a grown up (and hence the owner of a tarnished mind) was startled to hear a child shouting out a word which is normally used as a standard abuse.

The incident made me ponder about the unfairness of the abuse.

A bi*** (see…still can’t write the word) is generally a kind animal. She does not unnecessarily discuss her peers’ lives and appearances, takes care of her own needs, raises her kids uncomplainingly even after being dumped unceremoniously by her other half(ves) and stays amazingly loyal to those human beings who care to show just a whiff of kindness to her.

…

Yet we chose to associate the word with a negative connotation.

One possible explanation could be the fact that the canine family holds a lower position than Homo sapiens in the accepted hierarchy of the animal kingdom. But then should we not use “Amoeba” to indicate an intense level of vileness?

Tell me if you like the following abuse…”You filthy amoeba!”

PS:

How do dogs curse each other?

During a dog fight we only hear “woof-woof”, “growl-growl”,”snarl-snarl”.

They are probably saying, “Pup of a woman!”

Chauvinism

Not a particularly adorable trait...is it???

Yet...it is noticeable everywhere. I have always felt chauvinism in any form is inexcusable...but who cares about what I consider to be right/wrong...chauvinism continues to make its appearance in the most unexpected places. Let us discuss reflection of chauvinism in literature today.

Poetry for instance celebrates chauvinism. Millions of poets across the boundaries of time, place and language have composed poems praising the beauty of the women they have fallen in love with.

Countless metaphors have evolved in the eulogy of their lady love...

Vulnerable as the moon...delicate as a flower... effervescent as a river...and many more delusional analogies have been concocted by the deranged poets.

Women on the other hand never felt a need to reciprocate this behaviour.

Why do women stay content being at the receiving end of beautifully exaggerated insanity (poetry)???

Would it hurt to pen down a few delirious lines appreciating the handsomeness of a certain man / (men for some people)?

And we cannot say that nature lacks inspiration in any way.

The brilliance of the sun...the vigour of the rugged terrains...the ruthless silence of the mountain ranges ...quite macho...aren’t they??

Come on women...eradicate this social evil. How long will men suffer from this brutal discrimination?

PS: Probably that is why an overwhelming percentage of men do not bother to take care of their looks...lack of motivation!!!

Other people’s lives

Before I start...let me ask you this...

Are you the type of person who often seeks entertainment in other people’s life?

Answered? Ok...keep the answer to yourself.

I think almost every one has this insurmountable desire to know about other people. The manifestation is however is three fold.

1. Petty gossip: Sit in a group (face-to-face), pick some victim out of the group, dissect and analyze his/her activities with mind numbing clarity and pass judgements. And feel really good after the session. Contrary to popular belief this is not an effeminate quality...(almost) every body indulges in this to some extent.

[People who are confidently nodding their heads and still asserting that they do not like to discuss other people read on...]

2. Books: Do you like to read? Stories? Fiction and non fiction?

Well...plots do not exactly revolve around your life...do they? I think most of the stories that you read are about other people’s live.

3. Movies: Again..these are not scripted based on your life...right? [Now stop claiming that such and such movie had an astounding similarity with your life! Why not love the unpredictability of your own life?]

It is not our fault...we know ourselves too well. So even if you are a very interesting person since you are already aware of your tricks and secrets you are bound to find yourself mundane...

PS: Are you sporting a smug smile on your face because you indulge in none of 1 , 2 or 3?

Well...that is nothing to be happy about! That just makes you a narcissist of the worst kind...take a break from looking into the mirror to look around a bit...interesting things are happening all the time!!!

Etymology

My best friend complained to me about the philosophical (Really? I guess she is too sweet to use the words “drab” and “dreary”) nature of the last few posts and hence I promised her that the next post would not have any sad undertone/overtone.

I have come across a very interesting language and so I decided to share some insights here. You might have read something about it here. But I still felt that I have something more to share.

Prerequisite: To follow this post you have to have a very basic knowledge of Hindi.

Let us analyze the etymology of a few words of this language.

1. Makan means khana:

(E: Influence of the witch’s house from Hansel and Gretel )

2. Air means pani:

(E: We always keep comparing water with life and poor air keeps serving us and just because of it’s invisibility we keep ignoring it.

Just like a classic love story…water is the show off whom you mistakenly think to be the love of your life and air keeps loving you secretly all this while…then one day you are left by both water and air and you die…

No Paro…No Chandramukhi…Devdas dies)

3. Saya means main

(E: Nice word for me.)

4. Anda means tum.

(E: Nice insult for you)

5. Gila means pagal.

(E: When newborns wet themselves at the interval of 5 seconds I guess that does drive their parents crazy. )

6. Garam means namak.

(E: They are the first people to have tasted sweat...)

7. Dan means aur. (E: Anagram of and…)

And finally the one that won me over!

8. Chinta means pyar! (E: Do I need to elaborate? If you qualify as a human being I'm sure you will agree to this one.)

From now on think twice before telling anyone “I worry a lot about you”...

Well I was immensely pleased to have picked up so many new words…until…

One day I heard two local people talking in their native tongue and I was surprised to find that I am getting the meaning. “Wow! I have learnt so fast!” With a smug look on my face I proceeded to ask the person, “Excuse me…are you guys conversing in *****?”

“No…we are talking in Bangla.”

“Oh…so the two of you have been talking in Bengali…”

“No no…it is Bangla…we are from Bangladesh…you Indians can never pronounce it correctly.”--- a very condescending smile on his face.

(Often life’s “I am the best” moments are followed by “I am worthless” moments--- states the law of conservation of awesomeness.)

Coming back to the original topic…there are other casual words with very “unusual” connotations. Your reaction on hearing those might vary from a naughty twinkle in your eyes to a petunia blush in your cheeks depending on the kind of person you are. So to save you from embarrassment I shall not highlight those here.

But this post would be incomplete if I do not mention the following.

“Terima kasih” means “Thank you” in this very special language.

So if someone obliges you with a favour you are supposed to say "beep beep" …makes you uncomfortable…does it not?

Makes me think of poor Harbhajan Singh…if only he was aware of this language during the Symonds episode the whole incident could have been presented in a different light altogether…

Is it the onion or am I sad?

Sometimes it is hard to figure out...

...if you are really fond of taking long walks or is that a desperate attempt of making peace with directionless mazes...

...if the gentle caress of the wind in your hair still inspires you to dream or just hushes you to an escapistic slumber...

...if the subtle kisses of the rain drops on your lashes still make you smile or do they evoke a smouldering sigh from within...

Sometimes when we are done with successfully convincing every one around with our lies we try to lie to ourselves trying to keep our precious, vulnerable worlds from falling apart...

Hoping it is the onion...

PS: Apologies...shall make up for this with a cheery post soon.